Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

Top Next Previous Worst

Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #8900

Wait, there are other
     types of libertarians
except misguided?

Score: 2          

Haiku #333269

Did he cheat on me?
     First that stupid Hillary
chick and now this bitch?

Score: 2          

Haiku #2

Wouldn't these people
     be happier if they just
moved to North Korea?

Score: 2          

Haiku #5554

Get her to focus
     on something else, get her mind
completely off it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #8797

Other guys may think
     I'm pussy whipped, but the truth
is I'm pussy whipped.

Score: 2          

Haiku #273648

Yeah growing up rice
     and black beans happened often.
And the Mojo pork.

Score: 2          

Haiku #175347

It might be a good
     sex life to you but it won't
be to everyone.

Score: 2          

Haiku #796

But if he's talking
     about the "God hates fags" stuff,
then yeah, that's hate speech.

Score: 2          

Haiku #19048

Do you find yourself
     feeling as though you don't fit
in still to this day?

Score: 2          

Haiku #57589

I shall hope to win
     This is going to dilute
the armor market.

Score: 2          

Haiku #19696

But to forbid tips
     as if wage is enough is
borderline evil.

Score: 2          

Haiku #798

It worked. How did you
     make money if it didn't go
up (or down) in price?

Score: 2          

Haiku #5585

Indeed. He is too
     generous, I gonna try
ask him for money...

Score: 2          

Haiku #100637

I am not giving
     in for fear of illegal
police harassment.

Score: 2          

Haiku #19541

Not once did I say
     you were attempting to make
something illegal.

Score: 2          

Haiku #40405

However, I feel
     that this is almost pointless
to argue about.

Score: 2          

Haiku #5535

Donkey Kong Country
     has to be one of the most
fun games of all time.

Score: 2          

Haiku #40407

Sometimes they make eye
     contact and then just go back
to watching the show.

Score: 2          

Haiku #260958

I'm wondering, why
     is the page so, uh I can't
think of the word. Long?

Score: 2          

Haiku #25069

The ostracism
     comes after a totally
justified beating.

Score: 2          

Haiku #708

As little labor
     regulation as you can
get away with John.

Score: 2          

Haiku #6537

I appreciate
     your concern though and I'm glad
you offered to help.

Score: 2          

Haiku #6

I noticed that change
     from "What we did and did right"
to "what we're doing".

Score: 2          

Haiku #209106

Also the placement,
     spacing and scale of the type
bothers me a bit.

Score: 2          

Haiku #69470

Another title,
     a line in a book, a place
in the hearts of men.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106240

It just lacks that... stuff...
     you know the shit that gets you
wired up and awake?

Score: 1          

Haiku #206403

If you don't like it,
     just keep on walking and look
at some other posts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #70823

The easiest way
     to illustrate this one is
with an example.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166246

Couldn't one just claim
     to plead the 5th, and then
request a lawyer?

Score: 1          

Haiku #70838

And for the record:
     liking music doesn't make
you patriotic.

Score: 1          

Haiku #71031

I was all ready
     to say this was a silly
over reaction.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19511

Can anybody
     explain how the addressing
works on these networks?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19526

Just go for someone
     that makes you feel good about
yourself already!

Score: 1          

Haiku #19039

I think at this point,
     the media is a beast
in charge of itself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106090

I read through your post
     and I can imagine its
not the best feeling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19569

I thought the series
     overall was pretty good
as I was watching.

Score: 1          

Haiku #75707

I just discovered
     this sub today and this is
fucking amazing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22866

Alzheimer's sucks ass.
     What a horrible slowly
progressing disease...

Score: 1          

Haiku #19041

Does it stink that you
     get stuck with yet another
cost for a class? Sure.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337197

Some people really
     shouldn't be allowed to use
social media.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238038

To be technical:
     The fat from such foods isn't
what makes you gain weight.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40409

I was joking when
     I demanded that I be
in every picture.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19497

Body starts to rot.
     Body falls apart at joints.
Ankle comes apart.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8794

Some of my favorites
     are fried shrimp, fried catfish, fried
chicken, and fried squash.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8783

As to the girlfriend
     problems, you'll meet someone else..
you're young.. give it time.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8781

It is not numbers
     that will make you fit the dress.
It is the waistline.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8773

My belief of our
     place in the universe scares
the shit out of me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333785

Source: am a toaster
     owner and love my toaster.
I did read OPs post.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333859

So I think a good
     place to start is to not feel
ashamed of yourself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333923

But we were talking
     about what people believe,
not what's actually true.

Score: 1          

Haiku #246208

I'm done responding
     to you, go ahead make some
joke for the last word.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337064

Why do you think porn
     sites have the highest traffic
on the internet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #155564

The world is so real
     that you can practically touch
the crumbling plaster.

Score: 1          

Haiku #114840

Look at their picture
     side by side with anything
and it looks awful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #52824

If it's a shaved look
     like Jason Statham or Bruce
Willis, then it's fine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #346726

I don't think Logan
     would have lifted a finger
to save Juliette.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18931

I don't know how much
     influence I would have, but
I think I could help.

Score: 1          

Haiku #325415

And let's be honest
     that's me being nice, okay,
that's me being nice.

Score: 1          

Haiku #38089

Interpretation
     is a very normative
process after all.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196256

I have to ask, what
     have these specific castles
done to annoy you?

Score: 1          

Haiku #159099

anything that's not
     your salary is a perk
aka benefit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133736

Everyone I asked
     on the street was like "hmmm... yah..
yah I know that place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210994

Price for conversion
     is roughly 36k. Not a joke.
Stick insects. makes sense.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135925

For better or worse,
     they do **NOT** negotiate.
The price is the price.

Score: 1          

Haiku #115742

I'm trying not to wake
     my boyfriend with the shaking
bed from my crying.

Score: 1          

Haiku #170032

I SAY TO YOU, THERE'S
     NOTHING WRONG, GIVE ME A STICK
AND I'LL SING ALONG.

Score: 1          

Haiku #148977

My mate had it, then
     he updated his drivers
and it worked. Try it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216394

I didn't know we were
     being graded on spelling
and punctuation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216410

"Women" aspect is
     just one that blew up. (WARNING!
Sarcasm below!)

Score: 1          

Haiku #335570

Probably shit myself.
     I mean, I'd die happy right
after a good poop.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196283

It's Christmas season,
     go out and see if you can
snag a good deal now.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337119

Thanks for these insights.
     Much appreciated! Um.
So which one is which?

Score: 1          

Haiku #340645

Oh, for heaven's sake
     mankind, it's ONLY four light
years away, you know!

Score: 1          

Haiku #184658

Land of kinda short,
     often kinda stocky, most
often fit women.

Score: 1          

Haiku #184784

They're all huge except
     for Pig, who is pretty small
in comparison.

Score: 1          

Haiku #199098

That particular
     piece has not been performed yet,
so it's hard to say.

Score: 1          

Haiku #101985

I would love to such
     you off. This is beautiful.
Cant wait anymore.

Score: 1          

Haiku #102022

And a chance to see
     termite penis was too good
to pass up, baby.

Score: 1          

Haiku #102023

If it is, why aren't
     we letting kids watch hardcore
porn or something too?

Score: 1          

Haiku #30659

My mom passed away
     from me a few days after
my 16th birthday.

Score: 1          

Haiku #36261

at least you're eating
     vegetables, which is better
than lots of people.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39531

Friends and family are
     very, very important.
"God"? Not relevant.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19289

This isn't the first
     time something like this has been
done and been ignored.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22950

Why does this happen?
     Who knows. Why do parasites
and suffering exist?

Score: 1          

Haiku #5556

I know it's said all
     the time, but I really don't
find implants sexy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5549

They can take credit
     for your successes but blame
you for your failures.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5545

You seem terribly
     uneducated about
cycles of history.

Score: 1          

Haiku #4

Writing software fast
     doesn't necessarily
yield spaghetti code.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5

Most of Netscape's code
     got written while burning both
end of the candle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #11

Nothing would please me
     more than watching the music
industry implode.

Score: 1          

Haiku #13

And do you really
     want an atrocity like
that on your conscience?

Score: 1          

Haiku #25

If we were allowed
     to eat our votes nobody
would get elected.

Score: 1          

Haiku #330471

Seattle and South
     Florida work on the same
principles, I see.

Score: 1          

Haiku #234289

All of the healers
     were given the same problem,
no mobility.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5087

Was anyone else
     expecting to see a bird
rather than a breast?

Score: 1          

Haiku #155001

Didn't you hear? Goons are
     out to destroy everything.
Fight the goon menace.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224707

North Carolina
     style BBQ is the best
out there. Exactly.

Score: 1          

Haiku #326402

Well, I think there are
     some reasons to hate this guy.
Dunno about this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #122277

Something that would not
     have been possible if you
didn't have that one month.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8886

Not long after our
     appetizers arrive, I'm
feeling bad again.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8883

I hate guys like you,
     because they make girls think guys
like me are like you.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8877

You will want a place
     to escape from all the stress
sooner or later.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19657

Just ask yourself this,
     if the roles were reversed, would
she be there for you?

Score: 1          

Haiku #8319

We also had troops
     engaging specifically
in combat missions.

Score: 1          

Haiku #76363

One of my favorite
     time travel movies. Thank you.
I did check it out.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209122

If anyone is
     interested, I could post more
about this later.

Score: 1          

Haiku #314896

"I understand you
     are ze expert when it comes
to Pumpernickel.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19689

If that were the case,
     everyone in china would
be driving a benz.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19228

There are many myths
     out there, and the Christian myth
is just one of them.

Score: 1          

Haiku #156117

It still doesn't make
     much sense, but at least it's not
totally random.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136656

Had she died in her
     sleep, we would not be having
this conversation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18970

Then I thought about
     what my cats do when they see
something run! They pounce...

Score: 1          

Haiku #209273

To be fair, like half
     the cool things in the country
are in your time zone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #144400

Being better than
     average is good so don't be
afraid about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #15533

Try talking to her
     about the issues, without
the euphemisms.

Score: 1          

Haiku #3519

Lets say I show up
     at a local firehouse
and say I want in.

Score: 1          

Haiku #17088

Community on
     DVD You really don't
know until you try.

Score: 1          

Haiku #203522

Am I the only
     one who thinks OP's story is
the only story?

Score: 1          

Haiku #673

You say you don't think
     in black and white but it sure
sounds like that to me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #654

The difference between
     eugenics for cows, pigs, corn,
dogs, etc.

Score: 1          

Haiku #669

I notice almost
     every thing you've submitted
is from Canada.

Score: 1          

Haiku #668

This category
     could also include babies
in incubators.

Score: 1          

Haiku #652

I'm pretty sure "Just
     Do It." translates pretty well
in most languages.

Score: 1          

Haiku #639

Now if only they'd
     just open source the damn thing
and be done with it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18900

However, what you
     like about Christmas is what
I hate about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #637

Yeah, I could try, but
     I wouldn't be able to.
Subscription required.

Score: 1          

Haiku #627

This argument sounds
     warm and fuzzy, but it's just
not realistic.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19017

There are no laws here
     that dictate how fast we can
run on foot, so *HA!

Score: 1          

Haiku #622

i feel they can say
     whatever they want and not
have to back it up.

Score: 1          

Haiku #621

Are we thwarting plans,
     stopping terrorists, and not
hearing about it?

Score: 1          

Haiku #616

This happened several
     times and I reverted back
to the old system.

Score: 1          

Haiku #247866

Not that that detracts
     from the other guy also
being an asshole.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19690

Except that I'm not.
     I do not hate or wish ill
upon anyone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196369

I know for a fact
     that people would never lie
on the internet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196421

Worst time of my life.
     Still, I'm a polite person.
A nod or a wave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #21644

Believe it or not,
     many systems don't even
have an interface.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22354

You clearly have no
     idea how much food is
produced in the US.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22444

That correlation
     doesn't necessarily
imply causation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136726

All I can say is
     that it gets better after
the second season.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23202

Are you limiting
     yourself to other Native
American guys?

Score: 1          

Haiku #271993

She could have voted
     against, abstained, or spoken
out against the war.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19150

That's no different than
     telling her to make her boobs
bigger to please you.

Score: 1          

Haiku #24780

Ah, no, I wasn't
     really meaning to imply
anything like that.

Score: 1          

Haiku #31

I can think of two
     useful beliefs I espouse
that contradict yours.

Score: 1          

Haiku #32

So, raise you hand if
     you currently trust Sony.
Yeah, that's what I thought.

Score: 1          

Haiku #33

It has a little
     camera, which is uncommon
but not unheard of.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22969

The internet can
     be the biggest time sink there
is so stay away.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19671

And I'd argue that's
     your fault and a very poor
decision you've made.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231698

But one time, the head
     artist free handed a piece
on a customer.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19663

Not a good combo...
     Then I will say it was far
better than it looks!

Score: 1          

Haiku #27370

Helen's reply was
     disappointing and came off
as condescending.

Score: 1          

Haiku #46756

vanilla server
     ran fine for me on a p4
with a gig of ram.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19058

did you ever get
     the feeling a lot of what
you witnessed was staged?

Score: 1          

Haiku #748

Because, if they were,
     then the auto makers would
be producing them.

Score: 1          

Haiku #745

Hope I was able
     to communicate my point,
if not, it's my fault.

Score: 1          

Haiku #744

Over the years I've
     seen dozens of pages like
this, most of them real.

Score: 1          

Haiku #743

In which case you mean
     *maxim* of action, as Kant
would probably have it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #742

No, what's happening is
     that shareholders' property
is being abused.

Score: 1          

Haiku #741

But you see NO ONE
     for your entire sentence.
You eat in your cell.

Score: 1          

Haiku #740

Here's a tip. It's NOT
     the most trusted source of news
to Americans.

Score: 1          

Haiku #739

They're all prone to flip
     when subjected to extreme
lateral forces.

Score: 1          

Haiku #689

I suspect I will
     miss it as I take my next
trip to Seattle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #733

The Da Vinci Code
     and its fans just suck, sorry
to break it to ya.

Score: 1          

Haiku #729

Can't bring up Mises
     and expect the Institute
to stay out of it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #727

It is not at all
     surprising that they wouldn't
help a dying man.

Score: 1          

Haiku #730

If it's such a bad
     movie, why do people go
to see it so much?

Score: 1          

Haiku #722

Many will probably
     give this post a boost based on
the headline alone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #720

No? Okay, that means
     you're not picking up the IP
address correctly.

Score: 1          

Haiku #719

For example, say
     the problem is "My network
connection won't work".

Score: 1          

Haiku #718

Oh, that's his point? Great,
     an entire article
based on a straw man.

Score: 1          

Haiku #711

You can't just say "I'd
     have done things smarter" and not
present a real plan.

Score: 1          

Haiku #715

That necessitates
     *some* positive feedback, like,
I don't know, "thank you."

Score: 1          

Haiku #714

So I think there may
     be more to it than the nerds
and the rich people.

Score: 1          

Haiku #712

They can continue
     to pay substandard wages
for substandard work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #709

I don't understand
     what it means to recreate
Silicon Valley.

Score: 1          

Haiku #705

Are you trying to give
     the impression that you are
multiple people?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19013

All the light blending
     around you should add a nice
little effect too!

Score: 1          

Haiku #691

I think it is great
     his father encouraged him
to be successful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #683

And a lot of guilt
     will simply vanish along
the chain of command.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18747

I think gasoline
     in the garden would get me
in some deep trouble.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19038

Take the internship!
     Companies care more about
that than a degree.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19037

Did I mention I'm
     also poor and she has large
inheritance sums?

Score: 1          

Haiku #83513

The guy down the road
     is a lazy criminal
and lives in a shack.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19034

It was a box truck
     full of mannequins that looked
like bodies at first.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19033

Having some damn good
     goals in life (some travel, work
goals, etc).

Score: 1          

Haiku #19023

He was harassing
     and yelling at customers
in the parking lot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #124019

It's a very good
     documentary about
making a movie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300033

The rest of us will
     do very well without you
or your opinions.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22954

It does *not* require
     faith for you *not* to believe
I'm hung like a horse.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153717

It was okay, but
     I'm just not cut out to sit
at a desk all day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19057

Bats do horribly
     in captivity, unless
kept in a large group.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153743

You leave a gaping
     hole through whatever happened
to be in your way.

Score: 1          

Haiku #29729

How did we ever
     win a war against such dark
Teutonic science?

Score: 1          

Haiku #383

I don't like how you've
     turned this beautiful story
into a "hurrah!

Score: 1          

Haiku #389

He didn't go missing
     until thirteen years after
the end of the war.

Score: 1          

Haiku #390

Perhaps we shouldn't
     be linking to articles
dealing with faith, then.

Score: 1          

Haiku #391

What are they gonna
     do, kick a pregnant woman
out on the sidewalk?

Score: 1          

Haiku #395

I often notice
     the smell of popcorn lingers
for a good few days.

Score: 1          

Haiku #397

Looks like the author
     was intimidated by
Scientology.

Score: 1          

Haiku #401

I believe that there
     is no point at which you can
kill a baby. Neat.

Score: 1          

Haiku #402

Unfortunately,
     I don't have any pocket
change to spare this week.

Score: 1          


Top of Page

Page updated on Wednesday Jan 20, 2021 12:00:02 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.