Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 3 minutes with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #25069

The ostracism
     comes after a totally
justified beating.

Score: 2          

Haiku #65230

They'll eventually
     prove that Mercury isn't
actually a planet.

Score: 2          

Haiku #209106

Also the placement,
     spacing and scale of the type
bothers me a bit.

Score: 2          

Haiku #326403

Okay, thanks. I'll be
     sure to hang out sooner than
later, just in case.

Score: 2          

Haiku #65472

Plus she was being
     all shady with Andrea
in the beginning.

Score: 2          

Haiku #125335

I just went to their
     website to get more info.
It's unusable.

Score: 2          

Haiku #18938

These people don't want
     to be there, there is nowhere
else for them to go.

Score: 2          

Haiku #5535

Donkey Kong Country
     has to be one of the most
fun games of all time.

Score: 2          

Haiku #211306

He's not disabled.
     Heck, there's people who have like
no hands who are gold.

Score: 2          

Haiku #347205

Like, what the fuck, ma?
     You couldn't even ask me
if it was cool first?

Score: 2          

Haiku #798

It worked. How did you
     make money if it didn't go
up (or down) in price?

Score: 2          

Haiku #260958

I'm wondering, why
     is the page so, uh I can't
think of the word. Long?

Score: 2          

Haiku #6537

I appreciate
     your concern though and I'm glad
you offered to help.

Score: 2          

Haiku #796

But if he's talking
     about the "God hates fags" stuff,
then yeah, that's hate speech.

Score: 2          

Haiku #300876

If you really like
     something, get it on a shirt
or something like that.

Score: 2          

Haiku #708

As little labor
     regulation as you can
get away with John.

Score: 2          

Haiku #8736

The cows are long gone,
     in fact, the barn never had
any cows in it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #57589

I shall hope to win
     This is going to dilute
the armor market.

Score: 2          

Haiku #337889

Just like the Cowboys
     defense has been a complete
joke the past few years.

Score: 2          

Haiku #333269

Did he cheat on me?
     First that stupid Hillary
chick and now this bitch?

Score: 2          

Haiku #18360

:D CANT TELL IF IM
     ANGRY. OR JUST REALLY FUCKED
UP. Try heroin.

Score: 2          

Haiku #329141

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 2          

Haiku #74829

They sting you and don't
     even have the decency
to die afterwards.

Score: 2          

Haiku #74825

Also move your bed
     and sheets away from the wall.
But again, you're safe.

Score: 2          

Haiku #74863

Smoking weed isn't
     worth risking your health. I am.
Impressive sleuthing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83136

I have a hard time
     believing that that he smeared
real blood on that girl.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83102

I saw it coming.
     I saw it coming. I didn't
want it to happen.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69166

Puns and other smart
     alec remarks are what makes
the world go around.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83097

Even though it's more
     expensive, it's also much
much more efficient.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83092

I like this account.
     Fuck everyone who doesn't
get the sarcasm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69171

This gives me great hope
     that citizens can stand up
to unlawful acts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69173

Aversion in taste
     exists to protect you from
potential poisons.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69175

And I do murder
     all I want, and the amount
I want is zero.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69179

Enthusiasm.
     Even better than that is
when it turns you on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69181

Just thank your lucky
     stars they were solid nuggets
and not hershey squirts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83079

Nobody was trying
     to make you feel bad, you were
subtly bragging.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74830

Yeah, because when was
     the last time anyone fought
off a predator?

Score: 1          

Haiku #79726

Firm handshake and eye
     contact, after they see you
drinking alcohol.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74852

You implied that it's
     obvious why a junkie
would stab somebody.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74855

The best part is when
     all the old Uncles get drunk
and tell dirty jokes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69184

I have a friend who
     does it, and she says its kicks
the shit out of her.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69194

hopefully homeless
     guy made off with random black
fellas burrito.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74873

No one know for sure,
     but they do know it isn't
because of drowning.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216395

My last girlfriend liked
     the hard kidding that would leave
our lips feeling bruised.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209362

It sucks. It's my first
     valentines day since my last
boyfriend passed away.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209366

They let the murders
     and kiddie rapist back out
to do it again.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215463

Quite frankly, I don't
     think that will ever happen.
And let's say it did.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215481

I love your software
     and tell others about it.
Haters gonna hate.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215560

Is it just me or
     does it look like Owen's nose
is a bit broken?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215557

That's exactly why
     I watch videos like these,
for moment like this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215543

I knew that as soon
     as I stopped with the milk I'd
go back to normal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196388

Breast shells are worn when
     not nursing to help draw out
inverted nipples.

Score: 1          

Haiku #195077

Obviously you
     have never tried intercourse
with hot sauce for lube.

Score: 1          

Haiku #195083

These tacos will be
     used to do things like increase
engine performance.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210422

can you explain why
     the water doesn't drain by
seeping through the rocks?

Score: 1          

Haiku #210409

Looks quite excellent.
     Like legit asian takeout.
How did you cook it?

Score: 1          

Haiku #210466

Houston and Dallas
     are cities with no zoning,
and they are booming.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196297

Its illogical.
     Queer christian theology
makes no sense to me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #200283

She is literally
     aiming to be traumatized.
Like everyone else.

Score: 1          

Haiku #200286

I don't. How could you?
     It's a big dark cloud looming
over me (and you).

Score: 1          

Haiku #200289

But more than likely,
     you have no idea what
you're talking about.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215512

Obama knows this,
     hence why he is so desperate
to get a deal. Ha!

Score: 1          

Haiku #215520

I want that! I don't
     care who to. I just want that!
Can confirm. Owned one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215540

This is why you should
     have no part in deciding
the fate of mankind.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215531

He wasn't the least
     bit sympathetic about
my pleas in the car.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215530

This would be like you
     getting caught up in Russian
cyber policy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215532

"They put everyone
     in a big circle and then
do them one by one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206446

I know I would love
     to see a preview of Beth
before the train scene.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215536

"Please sir, just stay there,
     don't do anything rash while
I wait for backup!"

Score: 1          

Haiku #209109

Flux removes the blues
     at night time to give a more
realistic look.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209278

You deserve better.
     But if this is what you want
this is what you get.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209120

I agree that there
     shouldn't be cronyism
in place of merit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196373

Life doesn't need our
     permission to progress from
one stage to the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #213174

It's more efficient
     mathematically even
if not practically.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216407

And conservatives
     don't corner the market on
religion, either.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209355

Yes, it will be hard...
     but you'd be doing both you
and him a favor.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153746

Would it not just be
     easier to get a job
or start a business.?

Score: 1          

Haiku #167947

No college degree
     guarantees you a job, why
would an internship?

Score: 1          

Haiku #153751

Trying to get the blade
     father away from you will
only make things worse.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155544

Everyone else was
     the same way, turning mindless
and unresponsive.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175391

Just because it has
     been available doesn't
mean it was useful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166244

With an audible
     and dramatic sigh Audrey
jabbed at her keyboard.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166248

Place road directly
     over river and the bridge
will create itself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166251

You don't really care
     either way, but regardless
he is getting dressed.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166252

I wanted to throw
     War and Peace, but it was on
my Kindle, so no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175254

There's military
     with machine guns at the bus
stations every day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175258

Too big. And I'm not
     making the joke, it looks too
big for a fighter.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175259

No? Have you been banned
     from posting for not toeing
our party line? No?

Score: 1          

Haiku #175260

I genuinely
     see it as a take on our
current society.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175333

It's only a week
     into the game so it's not
too late to restart.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175301

None of us know if
     Jesus was up tight or would
have laughed at this prank.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175267

Just purrs like crazy..
     Probably thinks it's a massage
pillow for him. Yes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237441

I've had too many
     bikes stolen to want to mess
with them anymore.

Score: 1          

Haiku #250157

"Say 'I'm the Captain
     now' again motherfucker,
I double dare you."

Score: 1          

Haiku #262484

Players today are
     faster, stronger, healthier
in terms of lifestyle...

Score: 1          

Haiku #259492

A meal an a half?
     And mostly salads? You WILL
NOT build muscle with.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242692

I've had to use these
     options since my husband is
heavier than me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242691

After only one
     episode I am pretty
much over it.. Yep.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242695

What were they planning
     on doing if they caught him?
Assaulting him more?

Score: 1          

Haiku #242696

Seems like a pretty
     bold statement to make without
providing a source.

Score: 1          

Haiku #259443

You have a point there
     Damn straight Any ace streams yet?
Learn from your mistakes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242706

Well, fuck you too, kid
     Does that make him the shortest
pitcher in the league?

Score: 1          

Haiku #242709

"Unconditional"
     surrender is not something
that Japan wanted.

Score: 1          

Haiku #259399

She said that she was
     proud to be a moderate.
I'm confused... Hi there!

Score: 1          

Haiku #242717

As simple as this,
     I love it and will never
own a smaller phone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238039

The real question is,
     why haven't you checked yourself
for autism yet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #238037

My poor ears. I am
     currently wearing business
shorts at the office.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238048

Everything is hard
     before it becomes easy.
Can you hear me now?

Score: 1          

Haiku #259381

I have a duty
     to my daughter. To the realm.
Even to Robert.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257141

Do you really think
     each of these star wars movies
will be Blockbusters?

Score: 1          

Haiku #257211

I would be pretty
     disappointed with Wizards
if that was the case.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257146

Actually, I am "trained"
     in journalism as well,
but thanks for playing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257209

He knows full well why
     people are weeping, he knows
full well what happened.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257145

My friend used to say
     taking pictures distracts from
the fun you're having.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257153

It also appears
     difficult for you to find
some sort of escape.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257150

That's ridiculous.
     Did you laugh him out the door
as soon as you saw?

Score: 1          

Haiku #92498

I would say I find
     that hard to believe, but I'm
on the internet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #86934

Being inclusive
     is great, and we shouldn't turn
anyone away.

Score: 1          

Haiku #93756

Go to sleep one night,
     and wake up in period
as your persona!

Score: 1          

Haiku #93795

You know how that works?
     It's just a bike, but I know
things about my bike.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132882

Find more positive
     role models and read their works,
study their habits.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136658

as the top post on
     my front page. So excellent.
I can't stop smiling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #124903

Hell, anyone who
     doesn't subscribe to it is
deluding themselves.

Score: 1          

Haiku #115747

and i fucking stared
     at her pussy like if there
was no tomorrow.

Score: 1          

Haiku #114837

See if you like it.
     i refuse do go aussie
just on principle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132880

Thanks! Yeah, but he was
     moving from the shadows cast
by the nearby lights.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136542

It could be pretty
     satisfying to rip up
books that you hated.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136573

"What are you working
     out today?" "Dude, it's Friday.
Biceps and chest son.

Score: 1          

Haiku #124902

Sorry this has been
     more me venting than actually
offering you advice.

Score: 1          

Haiku #173450

Either way, it's not
     like I'm saying, "Go ahead
and fuck your sister!

Score: 1          

Haiku #184658

Land of kinda short,
     often kinda stocky, most
often fit women.

Score: 1          

Haiku #235481

I'm from Kentucky.
     Can I send you some bourbon
that'll change your mind?

Score: 1          

Haiku #150445

It was the British
     BBQ Society's
Mayhem in May comp.

Score: 1          

Haiku #340645

Oh, for heaven's sake
     mankind, it's ONLY four light
years away, you know!

Score: 1          

Haiku #337119

Thanks for these insights.
     Much appreciated! Um.
So which one is which?

Score: 1          

Haiku #196283

It's Christmas season,
     go out and see if you can
snag a good deal now.

Score: 1          

Haiku #335570

Probably shit myself.
     I mean, I'd die happy right
after a good poop.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216410

"Women" aspect is
     just one that blew up. (WARNING!
Sarcasm below!)

Score: 1          

Haiku #216394

I didn't know we were
     being graded on spelling
and punctuation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #148977

My mate had it, then
     he updated his drivers
and it worked. Try it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337874

Maybe your bank did
     not transfer your mony back
to your account yet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #96739

Like with car salesmen,
     the smart consumer makes them
work for the business.

Score: 1          

Haiku #115742

I'm trying not to wake
     my boyfriend with the shaking
bed from my crying.

Score: 1          

Haiku #149154

Now, with these stars, there
     also became galaxies,
gatherings of stars.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18747

I think gasoline
     in the garden would get me
in some deep trouble.

Score: 1          

Haiku #200268

You are always missed.
     Someone will remember you.
It's in our nature.

Score: 1          

Haiku #730

If it's such a bad
     movie, why do people go
to see it so much?

Score: 1          

Haiku #36574

I'm still not opposed
     to watching it if it should
wind up on TV.

Score: 1          

Haiku #292776

I was also sleep
     deprived for days and slipped more
and more out of it...

Score: 1          

Haiku #39084

In your defense, you
     had legitimate belief
to think she was drunk.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61253

I can see around
     corners easier and spot
dangers easier.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61372

Holy shit, had no
     idea about this, thanks
for letting us know!

Score: 1          

Haiku #62797

A college degree
     or diploma will improve
your chances a lot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62959

Another, very
     common attack vector is
the advertisers.

Score: 1          

Haiku #98266

Culinary arts
     is a pretty difficult
thing to get into.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62973

Could you explain why
     you are not a candidate
for a surgery?

Score: 1          

Haiku #333917

You're picking Gaudreau,
     Wheeler, Kesler and Marchand
over Seguin? Thanks!

Score: 1          

Haiku #64056

Also, I agree
     that the intent is to cause
emotional stress.

Score: 1          

Haiku #63879

And I thought I was
     so clever before I saw
you beat me to it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64161

If you are asking
     was he a gang banger, then
the answer is no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64393

Thus, I didn't imply
     anything beyond speaking
about abortion.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64611

If you really want
     easier combat lower
the difficulty.

Score: 1          

Haiku #96827

I think you words up
     some mixed I know my dad would
probably be upset.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135925

For better or worse,
     they do **NOT** negotiate.
The price is the price.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257138

I can understand
     the ones who were drafted or
threatened at gunpoint.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210994

Price for conversion
     is roughly 36k. Not a joke.
Stick insects. makes sense.

Score: 1          

Haiku #66620

You can even find
     vegetarian dog food
pretty easily.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257174

^^^Should ^^^I ^^^say ^^^it? ^^^Cause
     ^^^I ^^^think ^^^I ^^^want ^^^to ^^^say ^^^it.
^^^I'm ^^^gonna ^^^say ^^^it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67084

In my opinion,
     every Pelican album
tops Australasia.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67559

What is the best way
     to approach an attractive
woman at a bar?

Score: 1          

Haiku #133736

Everyone I asked
     on the street was like "hmmm... yah..
yah I know that place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257180

She was important
     in the first arc because, well,
obvious reasons.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133207

We still need to get
     together and get it all
started and laid out.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69470

Another title,
     a line in a book, a place
in the hearts of men.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40767

I'm talking about
     the "secret" area. Claire?
That's a fat girl's name.

Score: 1          

Haiku #159099

anything that's not
     your salary is a perk
aka benefit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #70823

The easiest way
     to illustrate this one is
with an example.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196256

I have to ask, what
     have these specific castles
done to annoy you?

Score: 1          

Haiku #70838

And for the record:
     liking music doesn't make
you patriotic.

Score: 1          

Haiku #71031

I was all ready
     to say this was a silly
over reaction.

Score: 1          

Haiku #38089

Interpretation
     is a very normative
process after all.

Score: 1          

Haiku #325415

And let's be honest
     that's me being nice, okay,
that's me being nice.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18931

I don't know how much
     influence I would have, but
I think I could help.

Score: 1          

Haiku #727

It is not at all
     surprising that they wouldn't
help a dying man.

Score: 1          

Haiku #346726

I don't think Logan
     would have lifted a finger
to save Juliette.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135714

No accusations.
     No inquiry into it.
No formal charges.

Score: 1          

Haiku #4

Writing software fast
     doesn't necessarily
yield spaghetti code.

Score: 1          

Haiku #129551

Generosity,
     in my opinion, is not
inherently good.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22866

Alzheimer's sucks ass.
     What a horrible slowly
progressing disease...

Score: 1          

Haiku #213175

My life was my own.
     That first month was beautiful.
I fixed the place up.

Score: 1          

Haiku #52824

If it's a shaved look
     like Jason Statham or Bruce
Willis, then it's fine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #114840

Look at their picture
     side by side with anything
and it looks awful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155564

The world is so real
     that you can practically touch
the crumbling plaster.

Score: 1          

Haiku #75707

I just discovered
     this sub today and this is
fucking amazing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337064

Why do you think porn
     sites have the highest traffic
on the internet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #246208

I'm done responding
     to you, go ahead make some
joke for the last word.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333923

But we were talking
     about what people believe,
not what's actually true.

Score: 1          

Haiku #96694

the space is nice, just
     not what they did with it You
aren't denying it?

Score: 1          

Haiku #136726

All I can say is
     that it gets better after
the second season.

Score: 1          

Haiku #795

I only wanted
     to point out that new research
is always useful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #271993

She could have voted
     against, abstained, or spoken
out against the war.

Score: 1          


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Page updated on Tuesday Oct 20, 2020 08:09:02 AM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.