Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #224720

When you have one who
     lays like that and looks at you
like that, you've earned it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #6

I noticed that change
     from "What we did and did right"
to "what we're doing".

Score: 2          

Haiku #136433

I was so lonely,
     I engaged her, even though
I was suspicious.

Score: 2          

Haiku #329141

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 2          

Haiku #326394

I actually added
     this part in my Doctoral
Thesis as a quote!

Score: 2          

Haiku #273648

Yeah growing up rice
     and black beans happened often.
And the Mojo pork.

Score: 2          

Haiku #2

Wouldn't these people
     be happier if they just
moved to North Korea?

Score: 2          

Haiku #8900

Wait, there are other
     types of libertarians
except misguided?

Score: 2          

Haiku #125335

I just went to their
     website to get more info.
It's unusable.

Score: 2          

Haiku #46016

What I usually
     do is check the CDs out
at the library.

Score: 2          

Haiku #175347

It might be a good
     sex life to you but it won't
be to everyone.

Score: 2          

Haiku #8797

Other guys may think
     I'm pussy whipped, but the truth
is I'm pussy whipped.

Score: 2          

Haiku #39007

Oh my fucking god.
     You literally **cannot** make
this kind of thing up.

Score: 2          

Haiku #39022

I have an issue
     with my mouth moving faster
than my brain sometimes.

Score: 2          

Haiku #19647

I have a beach trip
     with some friends soon and I plan
on smoking one then.

Score: 2          

Haiku #19602

I agree with Ron
     Paul about the drug laws. Aw,
he looks kind of cute.

Score: 2          

Haiku #19123

I feel that order
     and meaning are things which are
created by minds.

Score: 2          

Haiku #5554

Get her to focus
     on something else, get her mind
completely off it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #19062

You look like you would
     hunt down and kill your boyfriend
and feast on his flesh.

Score: 2          

Haiku #19628

When you drive past me
     at night and flash your headlights,
you *are* the hazard.

Score: 2          

Haiku #5639

Why are you doing
     that to mommy?! She is hurt!
Stop it Skittles! Please!!

Score: 2          

Haiku #272001

He probably isn't
     even trying to take away
your assault rifles.

Score: 2          

Haiku #300972

They're not prayer beads like
     on a rosary, they're just
used for fidgeting.

Score: 2          

Haiku #265087

I think the world is
     going to have to get used
to, you know, progress.

Score: 2          

Haiku #257141

Do you really think
     each of these star wars movies
will be Blockbusters?

Score: 1          

Haiku #265212

There will always be
     poverty, as long as there
is humanity.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257146

Actually, I am "trained"
     in journalism as well,
but thanks for playing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265176

No shoes in the house.
     I want to minimize dirt
and particulates.

Score: 1          

Haiku #257145

My friend used to say
     taking pictures distracts from
the fun you're having.

Score: 1          

Haiku #262484

Players today are
     faster, stronger, healthier
in terms of lifestyle...

Score: 1          

Haiku #259399

She said that she was
     proud to be a moderate.
I'm confused... Hi there!

Score: 1          

Haiku #257150

That's ridiculous.
     Did you laugh him out the door
as soon as you saw?

Score: 1          

Haiku #259381

I have a duty
     to my daughter. To the realm.
Even to Robert.

Score: 1          

Haiku #268491

I'm going to take
     your liver, son." "What the fuck?
That's so messed up, dad!"

Score: 1          

Haiku #257153

It also appears
     difficult for you to find
some sort of escape.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283058

It's scary sometimes
     how he chooses to word his
sentences sometimes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #269003

I bet the whole thing
     is all so some guy could hide
that porn magazine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #301002

Holy shit. You can
     lead a horse to water, but
you can't make it drink.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283176

Enough sperm remain
     inside to storm the cervix
and hunt down that egg.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283190

If only we were
     as skinny as the first time
we thought we were fat.

Score: 1          

Haiku #273647

Some of its scenes are
     weak, but overall, there's some
pretty cool shit there.

Score: 1          

Haiku #273652

[deleted] You should
     probably get a new hobby,
you suck at this one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #271998

If you want to live
     in a decent area
in Detroit Metro...

Score: 1          

Haiku #283368

Just eat when hungry.
     It is a very primal
way of existing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #272025

What things would you like
     to be automatically
notified about?

Score: 1          

Haiku #300949

He wanted to talk
     to me first but I just passed
the phone to my mom.

Score: 1          

Haiku #292773

By now I'm shaking
     and feeling sick, thinking I'm
being dramatic.

Score: 1          

Haiku #276625

You never even
     mentioned what detail level
you are playing on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18925

ma'am?! Dammit, Jerry!
     Doesn't matter if you're black
or white. Fire blanket.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19635

Nonetheless we still
     give them the freedom to make
the poor choice themselves.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40528

I get the timing
     perfect and everything but
I can't seem to win.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19619

You do realize there
     are other kinds of conflicts
besides 'oil wars', right?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19616

I said death. Some might
     argue that death is slightly
worse than injury.

Score: 1          

Haiku #30784

Ripping a CD
     and sending it to a friend
is not illegal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40517

I do like bacon,
     but I'm not a cat lover.
I'm not a liberal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19610

Like I said before,
     a good photographer will
know what they're doing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39008

Or maybe the fact
     that it's often hard to tell
the good from the bad?

Score: 1          

Haiku #39056

Actually, I'd be down
     to purchase some cat bones if
anyone's selling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40516

It needs to stop, now.
     It's unhealthy, dangerous,
and just plain foolish.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18923

If I were to watch
     one episode, and only
one, which should I watch?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19497

Body starts to rot.
     Body falls apart at joints.
Ankle comes apart.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18937

What kind of spin does
     the Chinese government put
on this incident?

Score: 1          

Haiku #18926

Going in to Pep
     Boys is amazing. I love
basking in that smell.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8886

Not long after our
     appetizers arrive, I'm
feeling bad again.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18943

I could write a short
     novel about the advice
I've heard about dirt.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83079

Nobody was trying
     to make you feel bad, you were
subtly bragging.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40535

This is why most will
     point out freedom of speech is
hugely important.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19289

This isn't the first
     time something like this has been
done and been ignored.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18900

However, what you
     like about Christmas is what
I hate about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18899

Nope. Did those little
     fuckers ever misbehave
in class again? NOPE.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83092

I like this account.
     Fuck everyone who doesn't
get the sarcasm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19057

Bats do horribly
     in captivity, unless
kept in a large group.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19058

did you ever get
     the feeling a lot of what
you witnessed was staged?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19150

That's no different than
     telling her to make her boobs
bigger to please you.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8883

I hate guys like you,
     because they make girls think guys
like me are like you.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8877

You will want a place
     to escape from all the stress
sooner or later.

Score: 1          

Haiku #86934

Being inclusive
     is great, and we shouldn't turn
anyone away.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83136

I have a hard time
     believing that that he smeared
real blood on that girl.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83102

I saw it coming.
     I saw it coming. I didn't
want it to happen.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8794

Some of my favorites
     are fried shrimp, fried catfish, fried
chicken, and fried squash.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40515

If would not have been
     able to afford every
single book I've read.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8783

As to the girlfriend
     problems, you'll meet someone else..
you're young.. give it time.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8781

It is not numbers
     that will make you fit the dress.
It is the waistline.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8773

My belief of our
     place in the universe scares
the shit out of me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5545

You seem terribly
     uneducated about
cycles of history.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40500

But office people
     make hard decisions and shit
is like... complex, man.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40502

Well that is a good
     question, and something I didn't
think of, personally.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5556

I know it's said all
     the time, but I really don't
find implants sexy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40506

And scarring doesn't
     bother me, it's just something
to reflect back on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5549

They can take credit
     for your successes but blame
you for your failures.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18942

Overall, I think
     you should talk to your old friend.
Worst case: Fuck that guy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18941

We were both different
     people obviously, but
we both got along.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83097

Even though it's more
     expensive, it's also much
much more efficient.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18915

It would be different
     if it worked for quite some time
and then stopped working.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18921

I don't with any
     level of certainty, now
that you mention it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18918

My mother: No, you
     just don't want to go to church
because you're lazy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19644

yeah its not always
     the same as blood like you get
when you cut your arm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19598

The way they oppress
     and control black folks now is
through the War on Drugs.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40532

That's called knowingly
     neglecting things, this is bad
and they should feel bad.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19617

Cold even. Man, two
     weeks ago I had a dream
that went just like this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19609

I've luckily been
     able to compress the graph!
[deleted] You're in.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19641

I am not calling
     this bullshit, I am just trying
to figure it out.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106250

With my earnings from
     the stock market I'd open
up my own restaurant.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175267

Just purrs like crazy..
     Probably thinks it's a massage
pillow for him. Yes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #93795

You know how that works?
     It's just a bike, but I know
things about my bike.

Score: 1          

Haiku #96871

There is honestly
     no reward for fighting it,
only unfair risk.

Score: 1          

Haiku #93756

Go to sleep one night,
     and wake up in period
as your persona!

Score: 1          

Haiku #175333

It's only a week
     into the game so it's not
too late to restart.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175301

None of us know if
     Jesus was up tight or would
have laughed at this prank.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106091

And they all turned out
     very, very successful
in their chosen fields.

Score: 1          

Haiku #115747

and i fucking stared
     at her pussy like if there
was no tomorrow.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106137

I could eat a whole
     platter but I think that one
would get boring quick.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106142

One time my buddy
     and I had blazed up then gone
for some Burger King.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106231

I am thoroughly
     jealous of his everything.
Especially the hat.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175254

There's military
     with machine guns at the bus
stations every day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175258

Too big. And I'm not
     making the joke, it looks too
big for a fighter.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175259

No? Have you been banned
     from posting for not toeing
our party line? No?

Score: 1          

Haiku #175260

I genuinely
     see it as a take on our
current society.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39120

I'd light up her world
     like nobody else, so hard.
I'll keep my eyes peeled.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19689

If that were the case,
     everyone in china would
be driving a benz.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39119

I see, so they fly
     from Korea to NA specially,
just to qualify?

Score: 1          

Haiku #39118

It's not about up
     or down it's about equal.
There are bedbug dogs?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19474

This officer has
     no personal self control
and is dangerous.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19657

Just ask yourself this,
     if the roles were reversed, would
she be there for you?

Score: 1          

Haiku #40467

I wouldn't worry
     about anyone calling
you a poser though.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18979

The European
     version did apparently
not have those levels.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19011

Doesn't matter how
     easy the game is, you don't
play against the game.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19013

All the light blending
     around you should add a nice
little effect too!

Score: 1          

Haiku #22954

It does *not* require
     faith for you *not* to believe
I'm hung like a horse.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22969

The internet can
     be the biggest time sink there
is so stay away.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19017

There are no laws here
     that dictate how fast we can
run on foot, so *HA!

Score: 1          

Haiku #19019

Walking ten miles sucks
     but riding a bike ten miles
isn't bad at all.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19020

Done and over with.
     Ok, same here. So now what
do we talk about.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40463

It's very tiny,
     and you might miss it if you
are driving too fast.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19569

I thought the series
     overall was pretty good
as I was watching.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19526

Just go for someone
     that makes you feel good about
yourself already!

Score: 1          

Haiku #19511

Can anybody
     explain how the addressing
works on these networks?

Score: 1          

Haiku #22871

Living with someone
     in a relationship tests
all of your patience.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22870

Given time this will
     change as sectors other than
oil and gas take off.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22869

And the crowd that turned
     out to watch, dressed up in their
finest, hats and all.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22875

All because they want
     to get their hands on that sweet,
sweet technology.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22879

Exactly, which is
     why I am the only one
who likes to party.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22876

You will miss him but
     sometimes the big man upstairs
needs him more than us.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40474

I could literally
     feel the heat emanating
from between her legs.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19029

But I guess I just
     wonder why there was so much
hype to begin with.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19033

Having some damn good
     goals in life (some travel, work
goals, etc).

Score: 1          

Haiku #19034

It was a box truck
     full of mannequins that looked
like bodies at first.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19037

Did I mention I'm
     also poor and she has large
inheritance sums?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19038

Take the internship!
     Companies care more about
that than a degree.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19039

I think at this point,
     the media is a beast
in charge of itself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19043

Why would that guy risk
     getting brutally murdered
just for a few bucks?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19102

Anybody else
     noticed that the comments are
"OVER NINE THOUSAND"?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19124

You can force someone
     away from an idea
using ridicule.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19022

Going out of town
     on the 14th so it has
to be before that.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19023

He was harassing
     and yelling at customers
in the parking lot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40485

Receiving info
     in classified areas
is usually fine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18989

It's not like I'm trying
     to get my parents to think
I'm smart or something.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18990

Wow. I feel the urge
     to start yelling at people
to get off my lawn.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18913

Unfortunately,
     when you're talking property
rights, you're talking laws.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18929

ya, and the pictures
     are still in there, smiling out
from behind the smut.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18932

Stop lying. You need
     to separate what you think from
what you actually write.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18935

Only one who has
     violence on their mind will
believe such nonsense.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40785

Your argument is
     invalid because it is
based on fallacy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18963

Just someone I felt
     comfortable talking to,
who would just listen.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18967

We're genuinely
     more interested in who you
are as a person.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18969

UN votes are indeed
     still biased against Israel.
The numbers don't lie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18968

More importantly,
     where do you stand on the right
to keep and arm bears?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19218

[deleted] Its not
     like I tell them to their face
that they are stupid.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40487

I've had fun times, but
     I think it caused some fucked up
patterns of thinking.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19193

Do your best to act
     out of compassion for her
as well as yourself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19503

The human spirit
     is enduring, and there is
so much to live for!

Score: 1          

Haiku #19505

I just had my first
     hat drop the other day too.
Fancy fedora.

Score: 1          

Haiku #30667

[deleted] Shoveling
     snow off my drive way HELL YES!
STICK IT TO THE MAN!

Score: 1          

Haiku #19485

The guy on the phone
     basically just told me "good
luck" and let me go.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40471

Which is why I asked
     you to define it for me.
It's a slippery phrase.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19483

That works too. I don't
     understand how breathing can
make you almost cum?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19481

Then they wonder why
     kids are bouncing off the walls
in class and at home.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40469

He drilled it into
     our heads that the best defense
was a strong offense.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19475

They put warnings on
     buckets to avoid people
from drowning in them.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19705

So put the crappy
     people on the crappy team?
That isn't balance.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39127

That being said, there
     is some value in pointing
out the pope's a douche.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19663

Not a good combo...
     Then I will say it was far
better than it looks!

Score: 1          

Haiku #39125

All time? I'd say John
     Elway. Currently, probably
Rodgers or Stafford.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19671

And I'd argue that's
     your fault and a very poor
decision you've made.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39121

Read up on hormones
     and behavior and their roles
between each other.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209366

They let the murders
     and kiddie rapist back out
to do it again.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209362

It sucks. It's my first
     valentines day since my last
boyfriend passed away.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193566

If you deviate
     from the plan, get back on it.
You can't change the past.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209109

Flux removes the blues
     at night time to give a more
realistic look.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209120

I agree that there
     shouldn't be cronyism
in place of merit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193567

He's come to learn who
     mother and father refers
to just like our names.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193568

There is no excuse
     for thugs to rule the hood' just
cause they think they can.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193569

Well, to all of you,
     I say good. That's what happens
when real trade takes place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193571

You used the plural
     ("consequences"). They only
knew that they would die.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193573

I don't know about
     all that, but it has always
been easy for me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196373

Life doesn't need our
     permission to progress from
one stage to the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196388

Breast shells are worn when
     not nursing to help draw out
inverted nipples.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193574

But on the Mac side,
     the cost differential is
more esoteric.

Score: 1          

Haiku #200283

She is literally
     aiming to be traumatized.
Like everyone else.

Score: 1          

Haiku #200286

I don't. How could you?
     It's a big dark cloud looming
over me (and you).

Score: 1          

Haiku #200289

But more than likely,
     you have no idea what
you're talking about.

Score: 1          


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Page updated on Saturday Apr 10, 2021 04:00:02 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.