Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words. Details of how this was done are available in a blog post.

These pages are regenerated every 3 minutes with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #708

As little labor
     regulation as you can
get away with John.

Score: 2          

Haiku #347205

Like, what the fuck, ma?
     You couldn't even ask me
if it was cool first?

Score: 2          

Haiku #314810

Whereas if a man
     said something happened, no one
questions or doubts it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #119297

You should be happy
     that you were able to be
diagnosed early.

Score: 2          

Haiku #155544

Everyone else was
     the same way, turning mindless
and unresponsive.

Score: 1          

Haiku #122277

Something that would not
     have been possible if you
didn't have that one month.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106190

Fuck dude that sucks, good
     on you for being honest
with yourself now though.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106187

However they were
     not as lucky as they thought.
It was a bloodbath.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210992

Are you sure you want
     to close all programs and shut
down the computer?

Score: 1          

Haiku #129551

Generosity,
     in my opinion, is not
inherently good.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153727

This guy posts about
     how bad the marauder is
and i refute him.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106240

It just lacks that... stuff...
     you know the shit that gets you
wired up and awake?

Score: 1          

Haiku #209313

Neat. Thanks. that's some edge
     you have there my friend, how is
6th grade going?

Score: 1          

Haiku #206403

If you don't like it,
     just keep on walking and look
at some other posts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83092

I like this account.
     Fuck everyone who doesn't
get the sarcasm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133207

We still need to get
     together and get it all
started and laid out.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333787

Why would I? No, there
     is nothing to base that on,
as far as I know.

Score: 1          

Haiku #29729

How did we ever
     win a war against such dark
Teutonic science?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19671

And I'd argue that's
     your fault and a very poor
decision you've made.

Score: 1          

Haiku #156117

It still doesn't make
     much sense, but at least it's not
totally random.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39118

It's not about up
     or down it's about equal.
There are bedbug dogs?

Score: 1          

Haiku #135714

No accusations.
     No inquiry into it.
No formal charges.

Score: 1          

Haiku #259399

She said that she was
     proud to be a moderate.
I'm confused... Hi there!

Score: 1          

Haiku #166246

Couldn't one just claim
     to plead the 5th, and then
request a lawyer?

Score: 1          

Haiku #106192

Is it mainly homes
     and religious sites or are
there many places?

Score: 1          

Haiku #136433

I was so lonely,
     I engaged her, even though
I was suspicious.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175301

None of us know if
     Jesus was up tight or would
have laughed at this prank.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8900

Wait, there are other
     types of libertarians
except misguided?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215560

Is it just me or
     does it look like Owen's nose
is a bit broken?

Score: 1          

Haiku #46756

vanilla server
     ran fine for me on a p4
with a gig of ram.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106193

Holy shit I can't
     even begin to describe
how jealous I am.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106090

I read through your post
     and I can imagine its
not the best feeling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69181

Just thank your lucky
     stars they were solid nuggets
and not hershey squirts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18747

I think gasoline
     in the garden would get me
in some deep trouble.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215543

I knew that as soon
     as I stopped with the milk I'd
go back to normal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #35213

Why are you butt hurt?
     Does Bethesda pay you or
are you that stupid?

Score: 1          

Haiku #337874

Maybe your bank did
     not transfer your mony back
to your account yet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #136656

Had she died in her
     sleep, we would not be having
this conversation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215540

This is why you should
     have no part in deciding
the fate of mankind.

Score: 1          

Haiku #36753

And having alone
     time is perfectly healthy
and acceptable.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193556

Maybe Murray too.
     I'd drop Ivory for Herron
no questions asked though.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18970

Then I thought about
     what my cats do when they see
something run! They pounce...

Score: 1          

Haiku #193566

If you deviate
     from the plan, get back on it.
You can't change the past.

Score: 1          

Haiku #37151

Europe is fading
     into obscurity more
and more every year.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215532

"They put everyone
     in a big circle and then
do them one by one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153717

It was okay, but
     I'm just not cut out to sit
at a desk all day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106199

Even their houses,
     their art collections and all
are owed by the fund.

Score: 1          

Haiku #150445

It was the British
     BBQ Society's
Mayhem in May comp.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106250

With my earnings from
     the stock market I'd open
up my own restaurant.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136726

All I can say is
     that it gets better after
the second season.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265212

There will always be
     poverty, as long as there
is humanity.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153743

You leave a gaping
     hole through whatever happened
to be in your way.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209355

Yes, it will be hard...
     but you'd be doing both you
and him a favor.

Score: 1          

Haiku #152032

As soon as someone
     initiates combat, beat
the hell out of em.

Score: 1          

Haiku #263750

You do know being
     correct involves more than just
using big words right?

Score: 1          

Haiku #22866

Alzheimer's sucks ass.
     What a horrible slowly
progressing disease...

Score: 1          

Haiku #259381

I have a duty
     to my daughter. To the realm.
Even to Robert.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265085

And the second you
     try to cash them in, you are
given even more.

Score: 1          

Haiku #115747

and i fucking stared
     at her pussy like if there
was no tomorrow.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19041

Does it stink that you
     get stuck with yet another
cost for a class? Sure.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283071

Carrots not so bad,
     but what kind of monster puts
celery in that?

Score: 1          

Haiku #337197

Some people really
     shouldn't be allowed to use
social media.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242691

After only one
     episode I am pretty
much over it.. Yep.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209273

To be fair, like half
     the cool things in the country
are in your time zone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69184

I have a friend who
     does it, and she says its kicks
the shit out of her.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238038

To be technical:
     The fat from such foods isn't
what makes you gain weight.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22875

All because they want
     to get their hands on that sweet,
sweet technology.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265165

It makes me feel like
     I'm playing a game, always
out guessing the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333917

You're picking Gaudreau,
     Wheeler, Kesler and Marchand
over Seguin? Thanks!

Score: 1          

Haiku #23673

Neither of us do
     anything for our birthdays,
nor do we care to.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19635

Nonetheless we still
     give them the freedom to make
the poor choice themselves.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40409

I was joking when
     I demanded that I be
in every picture.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231714

Looks like other folks
     in thus thread agree just fine
though so whatever.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23679

Well, give it a go,
     and if it's no use, at least
you can say you tried.

Score: 1          

Haiku #272025

What things would you like
     to be automatically
notified about?

Score: 1          

Haiku #348600

With extra biscuits.
     Congratulations, that was
the correct answer!

Score: 1          

Haiku #283123

No kids. I'm into
     the craft breweries in town but
she doesn't drink beer.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348598

You are posting here
     too frequently, so your post
has been deleted.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106211

I like the winter
     because running in snow make
you feel like a boss.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348596

What fucking ego.
     Well I never seem to get
further than two weeks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337878

And when you tell them
     yes, don't be afraid to roll
with their idea.

Score: 1          

Haiku #2722

Nice try Michael Bay.
     How much do you earn in tips
on an average day?

Score: 1          

Haiku #259492

A meal an a half?
     And mostly salads? You WILL
NOT build muscle with.

Score: 1          

Haiku #271993

She could have voted
     against, abstained, or spoken
out against the war.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19616

I said death. Some might
     argue that death is slightly
worse than injury.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333785

Source: am a toaster
     owner and love my toaster.
I did read OPs post.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19644

yeah its not always
     the same as blood like you get
when you cut your arm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74822

She says "It won't light?"
     Walks over, opens the lid,
sticks her head in, and...

Score: 1          

Haiku #331981

You don't like to touch
     people's hands but you're willing
to handle money.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333859

So I think a good
     place to start is to not feel
ashamed of yourself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209366

They let the murders
     and kiddie rapist back out
to do it again.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83513

The guy down the road
     is a lazy criminal
and lives in a shack.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193575

That and the camera
     seems to be zoomed in too close
much of the time. Why?

Score: 1          

Haiku #333923

But we were talking
     about what people believe,
not what's actually true.

Score: 1          

Haiku #326407

I simply couldn't
     respect a woman who would
let herself be used.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242699

(for people that want
     to help, but are too lazy
to look up that floor).

Score: 1          

Haiku #83136

I have a hard time
     believing that that he smeared
real blood on that girl.

Score: 1          

Haiku #246208

I'm done responding
     to you, go ahead make some
joke for the last word.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19609

I've luckily been
     able to compress the graph!
[deleted] You're in.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61253

I can see around
     corners easier and spot
dangers easier.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193573

I don't know about
     all that, but it has always
been easy for me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61372

Holy shit, had no
     idea about this, thanks
for letting us know!

Score: 1          

Haiku #283106

I am sorry it's
     such a long story but thank
you for reading it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337064

Why do you think porn
     sites have the highest traffic
on the internet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #22876

You will miss him but
     sometimes the big man upstairs
needs him more than us.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62797

A college degree
     or diploma will improve
your chances a lot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166248

Place road directly
     over river and the bridge
will create itself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62959

Another, very
     common attack vector is
the advertisers.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265176

No shoes in the house.
     I want to minimize dirt
and particulates.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155564

The world is so real
     that you can practically touch
the crumbling plaster.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215520

I want that! I don't
     care who to. I just want that!
Can confirm. Owned one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #98266

Culinary arts
     is a pretty difficult
thing to get into.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39125

All time? I'd say John
     Elway. Currently, probably
Rodgers or Stafford.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62973

Could you explain why
     you are not a candidate
for a surgery?

Score: 1          

Haiku #196388

Breast shells are worn when
     not nursing to help draw out
inverted nipples.

Score: 1          

Haiku #114840

Look at their picture
     side by side with anything
and it looks awful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283089

Running into bugs
     is completely normal if
you're signed up for this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64056

Also, I agree
     that the intent is to cause
emotional stress.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69175

And I do murder
     all I want, and the amount
I want is zero.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215429

I didn't understand
     why the humans were such dicks.
Haven't seen chappie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215481

I love your software
     and tell others about it.
Haters gonna hate.

Score: 1          

Haiku #52824

If it's a shaved look
     like Jason Statham or Bruce
Willis, then it's fine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224719

In that case (no pun
     intended), skinny cards could
be very helpful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #63879

And I thought I was
     so clever before I saw
you beat me to it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166252

I wanted to throw
     War and Peace, but it was on
my Kindle, so no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64161

If you are asking
     was he a gang banger, then
the answer is no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19569

I thought the series
     overall was pretty good
as I was watching.

Score: 1          

Haiku #346726

I don't think Logan
     would have lifted a finger
to save Juliette.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132880

Thanks! Yeah, but he was
     moving from the shadows cast
by the nearby lights.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64393

Thus, I didn't imply
     anything beyond speaking
about abortion.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224694

It's all in your head.
     Happy Birthday! Hope it is
one to remember!

Score: 1          

Haiku #64611

If you really want
     easier combat lower
the difficulty.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216395

My last girlfriend liked
     the hard kidding that would leave
our lips feeling bruised.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18931

I don't know how much
     influence I would have, but
I think I could help.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106194

A flat wing gains lift
     if it is at an angle
to the flow of air.

Score: 1          

Haiku #65230

They'll eventually
     prove that Mercury isn't
actually a planet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242709

"Unconditional"
     surrender is not something
that Japan wanted.

Score: 1          

Haiku #170032

I SAY TO YOU, THERE'S
     NOTHING WRONG, GIVE ME A STICK
AND I'LL SING ALONG.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74852

You implied that it's
     obvious why a junkie
would stab somebody.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83076

I don't read Chinese.
     (Or is it Japanese?) No,
thank you. nope, you leave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209303

He wants to rebuild
     America from the pure
genes of the Enclave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #144400

Being better than
     average is good so don't be
afraid about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133780

Any personal
     story, by definition,
is an anecdote.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83120

What flavor? If you
     want to learn how to build good
decks, stop building decks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #114837

See if you like it.
     i refuse do go aussie
just on principle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #325415

And let's be honest
     that's me being nice, okay,
that's me being nice.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224717

Specifically ones
     that would be fun for drinking
and well, more drinking?

Score: 1          

Haiku #159099

anything that's not
     your salary is a perk
aka benefit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39121

Read up on hormones
     and behavior and their roles
between each other.

Score: 1          

Haiku #66620

You can even find
     vegetarian dog food
pretty easily.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19617

Cold even. Man, two
     weeks ago I had a dream
that went just like this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #7

Something else: I've found
     that not watching TV has
been a huge time gain.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283073

I was looking high
     and low for it but couldn't
find a hard number.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133736

Everyone I asked
     on the street was like "hmmm... yah..
yah I know that place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242717

As simple as this,
     I love it and will never
own a smaller phone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67084

In my opinion,
     every Pelican album
tops Australasia.

Score: 1          

Haiku #137338

I would love it if
     my phone automatically
responded for me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210994

Price for conversion
     is roughly 36k. Not a joke.
Stick insects. makes sense.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209278

You deserve better.
     But if this is what you want
this is what you get.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67559

What is the best way
     to approach an attractive
woman at a bar?

Score: 1          

Haiku #333788

Don't let him do it,
     he doesn't deserve to feel
better about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #44

Unfortunately,
     young people like this often
end up in Japan.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216407

And conservatives
     don't corner the market on
religion, either.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69470

Another title,
     a line in a book, a place
in the hearts of men.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39120

I'd light up her world
     like nobody else, so hard.
I'll keep my eyes peeled.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175255

And then you will be
     like everyone else ma friend.
"Shit how'd i miss that".

Score: 1          

Haiku #175258

Too big. And I'm not
     making the joke, it looks too
big for a fighter.

Score: 1          

Haiku #70823

The easiest way
     to illustrate this one is
with an example.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215569

And of course if one
     finger is wet, chances are
the others are too.

Score: 1          

Haiku #70838

And for the record:
     liking music doesn't make
you patriotic.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175391

Just because it has
     been available doesn't
mean it was useful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #115742

I'm trying not to wake
     my boyfriend with the shaking
bed from my crying.

Score: 1          

Haiku #167947

No college degree
     guarantees you a job, why
would an internship?

Score: 1          

Haiku #71031

I was all ready
     to say this was a silly
over reaction.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22879

Exactly, which is
     why I am the only one
who likes to party.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5556

I know it's said all
     the time, but I really don't
find implants sexy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153746

Would it not just be
     easier to get a job
or start a business.?

Score: 1          

Haiku #5545

You seem terribly
     uneducated about
cycles of history.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210409

Looks quite excellent.
     Like legit asian takeout.
How did you cook it?

Score: 1          

Haiku #5549

They can take credit
     for your successes but blame
you for your failures.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209318

The key is to start
     playing the game, or else you
won't find anyone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175409

Just imagine, had
     she been alone, she likely
would have died. Scary.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224686

Worse than Dominos
     I honestly didn't enjoy
Skyward Sword as much.

Score: 1          

Haiku #148977

My mate had it, then
     he updated his drivers
and it worked. Try it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83102

I saw it coming.
     I saw it coming. I didn't
want it to happen.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5087

Was anyone else
     expecting to see a bird
rather than a breast?

Score: 1          

Haiku #83097

Even though it's more
     expensive, it's also much
much more efficient.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216394

I didn't know we were
     being graded on spelling
and punctuation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333885

The scene where Gus tells
     Shawn that he talked to a ghost
when he was a child.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216410

"Women" aspect is
     just one that blew up. (WARNING!
Sarcasm below!)

Score: 1          

Haiku #175260

I genuinely
     see it as a take on our
current society.

Score: 1          

Haiku #335570

Probably shit myself.
     I mean, I'd die happy right
after a good poop.

Score: 1          

Haiku #45

Age does not always
     bring wisdom, just as the young
are not all foolish.

Score: 1          

Haiku #3519

Lets say I show up
     at a local firehouse
and say I want in.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106196

Why do I have you
     tagged as animal fucker
likes german shepherds?

Score: 1          

Haiku #4

Writing software fast
     doesn't necessarily
yield spaghetti code.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209120

I agree that there
     shouldn't be cronyism
in place of merit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5

Most of Netscape's code
     got written while burning both
end of the candle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238037

My poor ears. I am
     currently wearing business
shorts at the office.

Score: 1          

Haiku #11

Nothing would please me
     more than watching the music
industry implode.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193562

I can guarantee
     you that she isn't over
thinking it like this.

Score: 1          


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Page updated on Saturday Apr 21, 2018 03:57:04 PM CST.

A Cyrus Lopez snafu.