Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words. Details of how this was done are available in a blog post.

These pages are regenerated every 3 minutes with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

Top Next Previous Worst

Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #2

Wouldn't these people
     be happier if they just
moved to North Korea?

Score: 2          

Haiku #224720

When you have one who
     lays like that and looks at you
like that, you've earned it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #700

There are many things
     we do not let our children
do, like driving cars.

Score: 2          

Haiku #708

As little labor
     regulation as you can
get away with John.

Score: 2          

Haiku #5585

Indeed. He is too
     generous, I gonna try
ask him for money...

Score: 2          

Haiku #347205

Like, what the fuck, ma?
     You couldn't even ask me
if it was cool first?

Score: 2          

Haiku #314810

Whereas if a man
     said something happened, no one
questions or doubts it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #119297

You should be happy
     that you were able to be
diagnosed early.

Score: 2          

Haiku #209279

Take a prescription
     opiate Wow this feels great
not in any pain.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23202

Are you limiting
     yourself to other Native
American guys?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215520

I want that! I don't
     care who to. I just want that!
Can confirm. Owned one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106187

However they were
     not as lucky as they thought.
It was a bloodbath.

Score: 1          

Haiku #276625

You never even
     mentioned what detail level
you are playing on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300033

The rest of us will
     do very well without you
or your opinions.

Score: 1          

Haiku #262484

Players today are
     faster, stronger, healthier
in terms of lifestyle...

Score: 1          

Haiku #122277

Something that would not
     have been possible if you
didn't have that one month.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193556

Maybe Murray too.
     I'd drop Ivory for Herron
no questions asked though.

Score: 1          

Haiku #24780

Ah, no, I wasn't
     really meaning to imply
anything like that.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22954

It does *not* require
     faith for you *not* to believe
I'm hung like a horse.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106240

It just lacks that... stuff...
     you know the shit that gets you
wired up and awake?

Score: 1          

Haiku #69179

Enthusiasm.
     Even better than that is
when it turns you on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #123807

Leonardo di
     caprio Leonardo
di vinci All. the.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231696

If it didn't run like
     shit, it would be a great game
on PC as well.

Score: 1          

Haiku #124019

It's a very good
     documentary about
making a movie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175258

Too big. And I'm not
     making the joke, it looks too
big for a fighter.

Score: 1          

Haiku #125335

I just went to their
     website to get more info.
It's unusable.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216407

And conservatives
     don't corner the market on
religion, either.

Score: 1          

Haiku #156117

It still doesn't make
     much sense, but at least it's not
totally random.

Score: 1          

Haiku #118807

Seriously though,
     California is the best
citrus growing state.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206403

If you don't like it,
     just keep on walking and look
at some other posts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206446

I know I would love
     to see a preview of Beth
before the train scene.

Score: 1          

Haiku #125849

I hate my country.
     I'm a virgin so its not
herpes There's a ghost.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300949

He wanted to talk
     to me first but I just passed
the phone to my mom.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166246

Couldn't one just claim
     to plead the 5th, and then
request a lawyer?

Score: 1          

Haiku #283190

If only we were
     as skinny as the first time
we thought we were fat.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8900

Wait, there are other
     types of libertarians
except misguided?

Score: 1          

Haiku #210409

Looks quite excellent.
     Like legit asian takeout.
How did you cook it?

Score: 1          

Haiku #27370

Helen's reply was
     disappointing and came off
as condescending.

Score: 1          

Haiku #114837

See if you like it.
     i refuse do go aussie
just on principle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #129551

Generosity,
     in my opinion, is not
inherently good.

Score: 1          

Haiku #46785

He rarely comes out
     and says "men bad, women good"
or something like that.

Score: 1          

Haiku #46756

vanilla server
     ran fine for me on a p4
with a gig of ram.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69175

And I do murder
     all I want, and the amount
I want is zero.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133207

We still need to get
     together and get it all
started and laid out.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215530

This would be like you
     getting caught up in Russian
cyber policy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106090

I read through your post
     and I can imagine its
not the best feeling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #273652

[deleted] You should
     probably get a new hobby,
you suck at this one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135714

No accusations.
     No inquiry into it.
No formal charges.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193569

Well, to all of you,
     I say good. That's what happens
when real trade takes place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136433

I was so lonely,
     I engaged her, even though
I was suspicious.

Score: 1          

Haiku #30784

Ripping a CD
     and sending it to a friend
is not illegal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18747

I think gasoline
     in the garden would get me
in some deep trouble.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209355

Yes, it will be hard...
     but you'd be doing both you
and him a favor.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136656

Had she died in her
     sleep, we would not be having
this conversation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132390

I'm not retarded,
     I did my research before
asking and posting.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18970

Then I thought about
     what my cats do when they see
something run! They pounce...

Score: 1          

Haiku #215531

He wasn't the least
     bit sympathetic about
my pleas in the car.

Score: 1          

Haiku #29729

How did we ever
     win a war against such dark
Teutonic science?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19671

And I'd argue that's
     your fault and a very poor
decision you've made.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153717

It was okay, but
     I'm just not cut out to sit
at a desk all day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69171

This gives me great hope
     that citizens can stand up
to unlawful acts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136726

All I can say is
     that it gets better after
the second season.

Score: 1          

Haiku #301002

Holy shit. You can
     lead a horse to water, but
you can't make it drink.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153743

You leave a gaping
     hole through whatever happened
to be in your way.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106198

I am a senior
     in high school and with that comes
the dreaded question.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22866

Alzheimer's sucks ass.
     What a horrible slowly
progressing disease...

Score: 1          

Haiku #300877

And Roosevelt is
     Frank. Cool thanks! I will try out
that setup later!

Score: 1          

Haiku #265085

And the second you
     try to cash them in, you are
given even more.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193568

There is no excuse
     for thugs to rule the hood' just
cause they think they can.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19041

Does it stink that you
     get stuck with yet another
cost for a class? Sure.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175301

None of us know if
     Jesus was up tight or would
have laughed at this prank.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337197

Some people really
     shouldn't be allowed to use
social media.

Score: 1          

Haiku #273647

Some of its scenes are
     weak, but overall, there's some
pretty cool shit there.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209273

To be fair, like half
     the cool things in the country
are in your time zone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215440

The only time Jack
     has ever annoyed me was
his butterfly thing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238038

To be technical:
     The fat from such foods isn't
what makes you gain weight.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333792

I'm aware of where
     I am in reality
so I try to move.

Score: 1          

Haiku #150445

It was the British
     BBQ Society's
Mayhem in May comp.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69181

Just thank your lucky
     stars they were solid nuggets
and not hershey squirts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #35213

Why are you butt hurt?
     Does Bethesda pay you or
are you that stupid?

Score: 1          

Haiku #155011

If I saw this guy
     doing that to a bike, I'd
punch him in the face.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265165

It makes me feel like
     I'm playing a game, always
out guessing the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106206

Can't handle shit when
     you have no ammo and chose
your battle poorly?

Score: 1          

Haiku #36753

And having alone
     time is perfectly healthy
and acceptable.

Score: 1          

Haiku #148979

Do greatness. I just
     went there, there a lot of white
people on that site.

Score: 1          

Haiku #152032

As soon as someone
     initiates combat, beat
the hell out of em.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193561

See dude, that's all great
     and dandy, the problem here
is the tendency.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23673

Neither of us do
     anything for our birthdays,
nor do we care to.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209303

He wants to rebuild
     America from the pure
genes of the Enclave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #37151

Europe is fading
     into obscurity more
and more every year.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19569

I thought the series
     overall was pretty good
as I was watching.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40409

I was joking when
     I demanded that I be
in every picture.

Score: 1          

Haiku #271998

If you want to live
     in a decent area
in Detroit Metro...

Score: 1          

Haiku #23679

Well, give it a go,
     and if it's no use, at least
you can say you tried.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155544

Everyone else was
     the same way, turning mindless
and unresponsive.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348600

With extra biscuits.
     Congratulations, that was
the correct answer!

Score: 1          

Haiku #333926

I'm sure lecturing
     people like they're children will
really change their minds.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348598

You are posting here
     too frequently, so your post
has been deleted.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215453

Eight sounds young but that's
     *way* to old to be screwing
up the alphabet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348596

What fucking ego.
     Well I never seem to get
further than two weeks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19705

So put the crappy
     people on the crappy team?
That isn't balance.

Score: 1          

Haiku #2722

Nice try Michael Bay.
     How much do you earn in tips
on an average day?

Score: 1          

Haiku #166248

Place road directly
     over river and the bridge
will create itself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #271993

She could have voted
     against, abstained, or spoken
out against the war.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209313

Neat. Thanks. that's some edge
     you have there my friend, how is
6th grade going?

Score: 1          

Haiku #333785

Source: am a toaster
     owner and love my toaster.
I did read OPs post.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300901

Let it become not
     red for a few seconds if
you heat it red hot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74822

She says "It won't light?"
     Walks over, opens the lid,
sticks her head in, and...

Score: 1          

Haiku #283106

I am sorry it's
     such a long story but thank
you for reading it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333859

So I think a good
     place to start is to not feel
ashamed of yourself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39056

Actually, I'd be down
     to purchase some cat bones if
anyone's selling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333923

But we were talking
     about what people believe,
not what's actually true.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106193

Holy shit I can't
     even begin to describe
how jealous I am.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83513

The guy down the road
     is a lazy criminal
and lives in a shack.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237442

People are crazy.
     All circles are upside down.
Squares are right side up.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242699

(for people that want
     to help, but are too lazy
to look up that floor).

Score: 1          

Haiku #333287

When I stop winning,
     I'll stop doing it. I like
the story the most.

Score: 1          

Haiku #246208

I'm done responding
     to you, go ahead make some
joke for the last word.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132880

Thanks! Yeah, but he was
     moving from the shadows cast
by the nearby lights.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337064

Why do you think porn
     sites have the highest traffic
on the internet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #326407

I simply couldn't
     respect a woman who would
let herself be used.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155564

The world is so real
     that you can practically touch
the crumbling plaster.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210422

can you explain why
     the water doesn't drain by
seeping through the rocks?

Score: 1          

Haiku #114840

Look at their picture
     side by side with anything
and it looks awful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #92498

I would say I find
     that hard to believe, but I'm
on the internet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215429

I didn't understand
     why the humans were such dicks.
Haven't seen chappie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106142

One time my buddy
     and I had blazed up then gone
for some Burger King.

Score: 1          

Haiku #52824

If it's a shaved look
     like Jason Statham or Bruce
Willis, then it's fine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242692

I've had to use these
     options since my husband is
heavier than me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #346726

I don't think Logan
     would have lifted a finger
to save Juliette.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283176

Enough sperm remain
     inside to storm the cervix
and hunt down that egg.

Score: 1          

Haiku #170032

I SAY TO YOU, THERE'S
     NOTHING WRONG, GIVE ME A STICK
AND I'LL SING ALONG.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166244

With an audible
     and dramatic sigh Audrey
jabbed at her keyboard.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18931

I don't know how much
     influence I would have, but
I think I could help.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106194

A flat wing gains lift
     if it is at an angle
to the flow of air.

Score: 1          

Haiku #144400

Being better than
     average is good so don't be
afraid about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132882

Find more positive
     role models and read their works,
study their habits.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83076

I don't read Chinese.
     (Or is it Japanese?) No,
thank you. nope, you leave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283094

[deleted] [removed]
     [removed] Educate yourself
about depression.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83120

What flavor? If you
     want to learn how to build good
decks, stop building decks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209315

You're not an addict
     because you have good coping
skills for your issues.

Score: 1          

Haiku #325415

And let's be honest
     that's me being nice, okay,
that's me being nice.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175267

Just purrs like crazy..
     Probably thinks it's a massage
pillow for him. Yes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #38089

Interpretation
     is a very normative
process after all.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215565

It's only legal
     for a little while longer.
Three, two, one, zero!

Score: 1          

Haiku #61253

I can see around
     corners easier and spot
dangers easier.

Score: 1          

Haiku #86934

Being inclusive
     is great, and we shouldn't turn
anyone away.

Score: 1          

Haiku #7

Something else: I've found
     that not watching TV has
been a huge time gain.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193566

If you deviate
     from the plan, get back on it.
You can't change the past.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196256

I have to ask, what
     have these specific castles
done to annoy you?

Score: 1          

Haiku #153728

They attempt to eat
     almost anything Truly,
Lack of God is great.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61372

Holy shit, had no
     idea about this, thanks
for letting us know!

Score: 1          

Haiku #106196

Why do I have you
     tagged as animal fucker
likes german shepherds?

Score: 1          

Haiku #62797

A college degree
     or diploma will improve
your chances a lot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224713

Now I understand
     how we read that differently.
Sorry about that.

Score: 1          

Haiku #159099

anything that's not
     your salary is a perk
aka benefit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69184

I have a friend who
     does it, and she says its kicks
the shit out of her.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62959

Another, very
     common attack vector is
the advertisers.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19619

You do realize there
     are other kinds of conflicts
besides 'oil wars', right?

Score: 1          

Haiku #98266

Culinary arts
     is a pretty difficult
thing to get into.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133780

Any personal
     story, by definition,
is an anecdote.

Score: 1          

Haiku #44

Unfortunately,
     young people like this often
end up in Japan.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215449

I've never fancied
     the russian roulette of birth
control personally.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133736

Everyone I asked
     on the street was like "hmmm... yah..
yah I know that place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74873

No one know for sure,
     but they do know it isn't
because of drowning.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62973

Could you explain why
     you are not a candidate
for a surgery?

Score: 1          

Haiku #224684

Palestine honors
     the criminals who murdered
innocent people.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210994

Price for conversion
     is roughly 36k. Not a joke.
Stick insects. makes sense.

Score: 1          

Haiku #120421

But he shrugs it off
     every time I try to talk
to him about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64056

Also, I agree
     that the intent is to cause
emotional stress.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210992

Are you sure you want
     to close all programs and shut
down the computer?

Score: 1          

Haiku #63879

And I thought I was
     so clever before I saw
you beat me to it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39125

All time? I'd say John
     Elway. Currently, probably
Rodgers or Stafford.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175255

And then you will be
     like everyone else ma friend.
"Shit how'd i miss that".

Score: 1          

Haiku #106195

And I am anal
     to the point of obsession
about cleaning kit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64161

If you are asking
     was he a gang banger, then
the answer is no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333788

Don't let him do it,
     he doesn't deserve to feel
better about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64393

Thus, I didn't imply
     anything beyond speaking
about abortion.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19635

Nonetheless we still
     give them the freedom to make
the poor choice themselves.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64611

If you really want
     easier combat lower
the difficulty.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215532

"They put everyone
     in a big circle and then
do them one by one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135925

For better or worse,
     they do **NOT** negotiate.
The price is the price.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215569

And of course if one
     finger is wet, chances are
the others are too.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5556

I know it's said all
     the time, but I really don't
find implants sexy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215452

I think after "q"
     I would say "u,", and "r" was
in the wrong place, too.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5549

They can take credit
     for your successes but blame
you for your failures.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242691

After only one
     episode I am pretty
much over it.. Yep.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5545

You seem terribly
     uneducated about
cycles of history.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337874

Maybe your bank did
     not transfer your mony back
to your account yet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #65230

They'll eventually
     prove that Mercury isn't
actually a planet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #180911

Try to grab a guy
     who isn't awesome right now
but has high upside.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175409

Just imagine, had
     she been alone, she likely
would have died. Scary.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193554

Or take a day trip
     up to Toronto and just
walk around downtown.

Score: 1          

Haiku #115742

I'm trying not to wake
     my boyfriend with the shaking
bed from my crying.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106250

With my earnings from
     the stock market I'd open
up my own restaurant.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5087

Was anyone else
     expecting to see a bird
rather than a breast?

Score: 1          

Haiku #224686

Worse than Dominos
     I honestly didn't enjoy
Skyward Sword as much.

Score: 1          

Haiku #148977

My mate had it, then
     he updated his drivers
and it worked. Try it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209318

The key is to start
     playing the game, or else you
won't find anyone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #66620

You can even find
     vegetarian dog food
pretty easily.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19526

Just go for someone
     that makes you feel good about
yourself already!

Score: 1          


Top of Page

Page updated on Tuesday Mar 26, 2019 12:03:04 PM CST.

A Cyrus Lopez snafu.