Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words. Details of how this was done are available in a blog post.

These pages are regenerated every 3 minutes with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #203528

In a communist
     society, all of those
values are punished.

Score: 2          

Haiku #708

As little labor
     regulation as you can
get away with John.

Score: 2          

Haiku #57589

I shall hope to win
     This is going to dilute
the armor market.

Score: 2          

Haiku #2

Wouldn't these people
     be happier if they just
moved to North Korea?

Score: 2          

Haiku #5585

Indeed. He is too
     generous, I gonna try
ask him for money...

Score: 2          

Haiku #347205

Like, what the fuck, ma?
     You couldn't even ask me
if it was cool first?

Score: 2          

Haiku #314810

Whereas if a man
     said something happened, no one
questions or doubts it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #119297

You should be happy
     that you were able to be
diagnosed early.

Score: 2          

Haiku #175258

Too big. And I'm not
     making the joke, it looks too
big for a fighter.

Score: 1          

Haiku #24780

Ah, no, I wasn't
     really meaning to imply
anything like that.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193562

I can guarantee
     you that she isn't over
thinking it like this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300033

The rest of us will
     do very well without you
or your opinions.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215446

I was also picked
     on for my lack of knowledge
in sexual things.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106187

However they were
     not as lucky as they thought.
It was a bloodbath.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19619

You do realize there
     are other kinds of conflicts
besides 'oil wars', right?

Score: 1          

Haiku #122277

Something that would not
     have been possible if you
didn't have that one month.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106224

I think Jesse plans
     on telling Flynn everything
about his father.

Score: 1          

Haiku #123807

Leonardo di
     caprio Leonardo
di vinci All. the.

Score: 1          

Haiku #262484

Players today are
     faster, stronger, healthier
in terms of lifestyle...

Score: 1          

Haiku #124019

It's a very good
     documentary about
making a movie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #276625

You never even
     mentioned what detail level
you are playing on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #125335

I just went to their
     website to get more info.
It's unusable.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333933

Might be neat. Do you
     know any trans singers who
do something like that?

Score: 1          

Haiku #106240

It just lacks that... stuff...
     you know the shit that gets you
wired up and awake?

Score: 1          

Haiku #74830

Yeah, because when was
     the last time anyone fought
off a predator?

Score: 1          

Haiku #125849

I hate my country.
     I'm a virgin so its not
herpes There's a ghost.

Score: 1          

Haiku #271998

If you want to live
     in a decent area
in Detroit Metro...

Score: 1          

Haiku #156117

It still doesn't make
     much sense, but at least it's not
totally random.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242695

What were they planning
     on doing if they caught him?
Assaulting him more?

Score: 1          

Haiku #206403

If you don't like it,
     just keep on walking and look
at some other posts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #292876

I'm hoping to bike
     that by the start of July,
which is when we leave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166246

Couldn't one just claim
     to plead the 5th, and then
request a lawyer?

Score: 1          

Haiku #193575

That and the camera
     seems to be zoomed in too close
much of the time. Why?

Score: 1          

Haiku #27370

Helen's reply was
     disappointing and came off
as condescending.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283089

Running into bugs
     is completely normal if
you're signed up for this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8900

Wait, there are other
     types of libertarians
except misguided?

Score: 1          

Haiku #224688

I feel like we should
     let them be recruited just
to be rid of them.

Score: 1          

Haiku #129551

Generosity,
     in my opinion, is not
inherently good.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19663

Not a good combo...
     Then I will say it was far
better than it looks!

Score: 1          

Haiku #133207

We still need to get
     together and get it all
started and laid out.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215481

I love your software
     and tell others about it.
Haters gonna hate.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135714

No accusations.
     No inquiry into it.
No formal charges.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106194

A flat wing gains lift
     if it is at an angle
to the flow of air.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136433

I was so lonely,
     I engaged her, even though
I was suspicious.

Score: 1          

Haiku #268491

I'm going to take
     your liver, son." "What the fuck?
That's so messed up, dad!"

Score: 1          

Haiku #46756

vanilla server
     ran fine for me on a p4
with a gig of ram.

Score: 1          

Haiku #301002

Holy shit. You can
     lead a horse to water, but
you can't make it drink.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106090

I read through your post
     and I can imagine its
not the best feeling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106250

With my earnings from
     the stock market I'd open
up my own restaurant.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18747

I think gasoline
     in the garden would get me
in some deep trouble.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300901

Let it become not
     red for a few seconds if
you heat it red hot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #29729

How did we ever
     win a war against such dark
Teutonic science?

Score: 1          

Haiku #300902

LOL Not sure
     otherwise, my store doesn't
have weird tasting buns.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18970

Then I thought about
     what my cats do when they see
something run! They pounce...

Score: 1          

Haiku #153751

Trying to get the blade
     father away from you will
only make things worse.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136656

Had she died in her
     sleep, we would not be having
this conversation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242691

After only one
     episode I am pretty
much over it.. Yep.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153717

It was okay, but
     I'm just not cut out to sit
at a desk all day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206486

If I'm right I look
     like a genius, if I'm wrong
I look retarded.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136726

All I can say is
     that it gets better after
the second season.

Score: 1          

Haiku #340646

To me, it looked like
     he was beginning to lose
his control as well.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153743

You leave a gaping
     hole through whatever happened
to be in your way.

Score: 1          

Haiku #93795

You know how that works?
     It's just a bike, but I know
things about my bike.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22866

Alzheimer's sucks ass.
     What a horrible slowly
progressing disease...

Score: 1          

Haiku #215437

Fuck the government
     man they don't do shit to keep
nation safe. Looks good!

Score: 1          

Haiku #265085

And the second you
     try to cash them in, you are
given even more.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209318

The key is to start
     playing the game, or else you
won't find anyone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19041

Does it stink that you
     get stuck with yet another
cost for a class? Sure.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106206

Can't handle shit when
     you have no ammo and chose
your battle poorly?

Score: 1          

Haiku #35213

Why are you butt hurt?
     Does Bethesda pay you or
are you that stupid?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215532

"They put everyone
     in a big circle and then
do them one by one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337197

Some people really
     shouldn't be allowed to use
social media.

Score: 1          

Haiku #314832

At least it will be
     until tons of people start
getting hit by cars.

Score: 1          

Haiku #150445

It was the British
     BBQ Society's
Mayhem in May comp.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136658

as the top post on
     my front page. So excellent.
I can't stop smiling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #36753

And having alone
     time is perfectly healthy
and acceptable.

Score: 1          

Haiku #38654

I don't have any
     keys currently, but I could
overpay in hats.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238038

To be technical:
     The fat from such foods isn't
what makes you gain weight.

Score: 1          

Haiku #229262

That's not true, we don't
     bail out Greece, we bail out banks
that gave loans to Greece.

Score: 1          

Haiku #37151

Europe is fading
     into obscurity more
and more every year.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196297

Its illogical.
     Queer christian theology
makes no sense to me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #152032

As soon as someone
     initiates combat, beat
the hell out of em.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237444

As an male trending
     to Alpha, you shouldn't care
what men FEEL. Make sense?

Score: 1          

Haiku #209273

To be fair, like half
     the cool things in the country
are in your time zone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333787

Why would I? No, there
     is nothing to base that on,
as far as I know.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265165

It makes me feel like
     I'm playing a game, always
out guessing the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193569

Well, to all of you,
     I say good. That's what happens
when real trade takes place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23673

Neither of us do
     anything for our birthdays,
nor do we care to.

Score: 1          

Haiku #115747

and i fucking stared
     at her pussy like if there
was no tomorrow.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40409

I was joking when
     I demanded that I be
in every picture.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22869

And the crowd that turned
     out to watch, dressed up in their
finest, hats and all.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23679

Well, give it a go,
     and if it's no use, at least
you can say you tried.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155544

Everyone else was
     the same way, turning mindless
and unresponsive.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348600

With extra biscuits.
     Congratulations, that was
the correct answer!

Score: 1          

Haiku #210409

Looks quite excellent.
     Like legit asian takeout.
How did you cook it?

Score: 1          

Haiku #348598

You are posting here
     too frequently, so your post
has been deleted.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22879

Exactly, which is
     why I am the only one
who likes to party.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348596

What fucking ego.
     Well I never seem to get
further than two weeks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215448

He thought if I want
     smiling constantly that meant
I was miserable.

Score: 1          

Haiku #2722

Nice try Michael Bay.
     How much do you earn in tips
on an average day?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19526

Just go for someone
     that makes you feel good about
yourself already!

Score: 1          

Haiku #271993

She could have voted
     against, abstained, or spoken
out against the war.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135929

You can easily
     shoot a passenger while trying
to hit the engine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333785

Source: am a toaster
     owner and love my toaster.
I did read OPs post.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333926

I'm sure lecturing
     people like they're children will
really change their minds.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74822

She says "It won't light?"
     Walks over, opens the lid,
sticks her head in, and...

Score: 1          

Haiku #193566

If you deviate
     from the plan, get back on it.
You can't change the past.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333859

So I think a good
     place to start is to not feel
ashamed of yourself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231713

If something happens
     and I need to shop around,
will remember this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333923

But we were talking
     about what people believe,
not what's actually true.

Score: 1          

Haiku #229268

they say, as they call
     their dealer and get mad when
he doesn't answer.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83513

The guy down the road
     is a lazy criminal
and lives in a shack.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166252

I wanted to throw
     War and Peace, but it was on
my Kindle, so no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242699

(for people that want
     to help, but are too lazy
to look up that floor).

Score: 1          

Haiku #209303

He wants to rebuild
     America from the pure
genes of the Enclave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #246208

I'm done responding
     to you, go ahead make some
joke for the last word.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333287

When I stop winning,
     I'll stop doing it. I like
the story the most.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337064

Why do you think porn
     sites have the highest traffic
on the internet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #106196

Why do I have you
     tagged as animal fucker
likes german shepherds?

Score: 1          

Haiku #155564

The world is so real
     that you can practically touch
the crumbling plaster.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136573

"What are you working
     out today?" "Dude, it's Friday.
Biceps and chest son.

Score: 1          

Haiku #114840

Look at their picture
     side by side with anything
and it looks awful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215543

I knew that as soon
     as I stopped with the milk I'd
go back to normal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #170032

I SAY TO YOU, THERE'S
     NOTHING WRONG, GIVE ME A STICK
AND I'LL SING ALONG.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337874

Maybe your bank did
     not transfer your mony back
to your account yet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #52824

If it's a shaved look
     like Jason Statham or Bruce
Willis, then it's fine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215560

Is it just me or
     does it look like Owen's nose
is a bit broken?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215429

I didn't understand
     why the humans were such dicks.
Haven't seen chappie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39121

Read up on hormones
     and behavior and their roles
between each other.

Score: 1          

Haiku #346726

I don't think Logan
     would have lifted a finger
to save Juliette.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209279

Take a prescription
     opiate Wow this feels great
not in any pain.

Score: 1          

Haiku #144400

Being better than
     average is good so don't be
afraid about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215430

Edition? My case
     has been made by every vote
banning gay marriage.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18931

I don't know how much
     influence I would have, but
I think I could help.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19635

Nonetheless we still
     give them the freedom to make
the poor choice themselves.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83076

I don't read Chinese.
     (Or is it Japanese?) No,
thank you. nope, you leave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19705

So put the crappy
     people on the crappy team?
That isn't balance.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61253

I can see around
     corners easier and spot
dangers easier.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19657

Just ask yourself this,
     if the roles were reversed, would
she be there for you?

Score: 1          

Haiku #83120

What flavor? If you
     want to learn how to build good
decks, stop building decks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333913

[deleted] Not Moose,
     I like him so far. I'm not
mad about Bennett.

Score: 1          

Haiku #325415

And let's be honest
     that's me being nice, okay,
that's me being nice.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193574

But on the Mac side,
     the cost differential is
more esoteric.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61372

Holy shit, had no
     idea about this, thanks
for letting us know!

Score: 1          

Haiku #175333

It's only a week
     into the game so it's not
too late to restart.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62797

A college degree
     or diploma will improve
your chances a lot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215463

Quite frankly, I don't
     think that will ever happen.
And let's say it did.

Score: 1          

Haiku #38089

Interpretation
     is a very normative
process after all.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19609

I've luckily been
     able to compress the graph!
[deleted] You're in.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62959

Another, very
     common attack vector is
the advertisers.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224686

Worse than Dominos
     I honestly didn't enjoy
Skyward Sword as much.

Score: 1          

Haiku #98266

Culinary arts
     is a pretty difficult
thing to get into.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133780

Any personal
     story, by definition,
is an anecdote.

Score: 1          

Haiku #7

Something else: I've found
     that not watching TV has
been a huge time gain.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224684

Palestine honors
     the criminals who murdered
innocent people.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196256

I have to ask, what
     have these specific castles
done to annoy you?

Score: 1          

Haiku #175254

There's military
     with machine guns at the bus
stations every day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62973

Could you explain why
     you are not a candidate
for a surgery?

Score: 1          

Haiku #224702

It doesn't even
     have any wheels No, no Tom
Hanks in the movie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #159099

anything that's not
     your salary is a perk
aka benefit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132882

Find more positive
     role models and read their works,
study their habits.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64056

Also, I agree
     that the intent is to cause
emotional stress.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19644

yeah its not always
     the same as blood like you get
when you cut your arm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #63879

And I thought I was
     so clever before I saw
you beat me to it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193558

And everyone is
     always *friendly* in a south
city kind of way.

Score: 1          

Haiku #44

Unfortunately,
     young people like this often
end up in Japan.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265212

There will always be
     poverty, as long as there
is humanity.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133736

Everyone I asked
     on the street was like "hmmm... yah..
yah I know that place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106211

I like the winter
     because running in snow make
you feel like a boss.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64161

If you are asking
     was he a gang banger, then
the answer is no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39125

All time? I'd say John
     Elway. Currently, probably
Rodgers or Stafford.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64393

Thus, I didn't imply
     anything beyond speaking
about abortion.

Score: 1          

Haiku #161233

what a valuable
     asset to society.
Muzzle devices.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210994

Price for conversion
     is roughly 36k. Not a joke.
Stick insects. makes sense.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39118

It's not about up
     or down it's about equal.
There are bedbug dogs?

Score: 1          

Haiku #64611

If you really want
     easier combat lower
the difficulty.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242692

I've had to use these
     options since my husband is
heavier than me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #65230

They'll eventually
     prove that Mercury isn't
actually a planet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175391

Just because it has
     been available doesn't
mean it was useful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175255

And then you will be
     like everyone else ma friend.
"Shit how'd i miss that".

Score: 1          

Haiku #83079

Nobody was trying
     to make you feel bad, you were
subtly bragging.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135925

For better or worse,
     they do **NOT** negotiate.
The price is the price.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22871

Living with someone
     in a relationship tests
all of your patience.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5556

I know it's said all
     the time, but I really don't
find implants sexy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215449

I've never fancied
     the russian roulette of birth
control personally.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5549

They can take credit
     for your successes but blame
you for your failures.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215440

The only time Jack
     has ever annoyed me was
his butterfly thing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5545

You seem terribly
     uneducated about
cycles of history.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153728

They attempt to eat
     almost anything Truly,
Lack of God is great.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175409

Just imagine, had
     she been alone, she likely
would have died. Scary.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231714

Looks like other folks
     in thus thread agree just fine
though so whatever.

Score: 1          

Haiku #115742

I'm trying not to wake
     my boyfriend with the shaking
bed from my crying.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283058

It's scary sometimes
     how he chooses to word his
sentences sometimes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #66620

You can even find
     vegetarian dog food
pretty easily.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19616

I said death. Some might
     argue that death is slightly
worse than injury.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5087

Was anyone else
     expecting to see a bird
rather than a breast?

Score: 1          

Haiku #193567

He's come to learn who
     mother and father refers
to just like our names.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67084

In my opinion,
     every Pelican album
tops Australasia.

Score: 1          

Haiku #124903

Hell, anyone who
     doesn't subscribe to it is
deluding themselves.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67559

What is the best way
     to approach an attractive
woman at a bar?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215438

hurts to even type.
     Are you sure it's not Asian
men who get you hard?

Score: 1          


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Page updated on Friday Sep 21, 2018 08:48:03 PM CST.

A Cyrus Lopez snafu.