Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words. Details of how this was done are available in a blog post.

These pages are regenerated every 3 minutes with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #6

I noticed that change
     from "What we did and did right"
to "what we're doing".

Score: 2          

Haiku #46016

What I usually
     do is check the CDs out
at the library.

Score: 2          

Haiku #193571

You used the plural
     ("consequences"). They only
knew that they would die.

Score: 1          

Haiku #122277

Something that would not
     have been possible if you
didn't have that one month.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231696

If it didn't run like
     shit, it would be a great game
on PC as well.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206403

If you don't like it,
     just keep on walking and look
at some other posts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #263750

You do know being
     correct involves more than just
using big words right?

Score: 1          

Haiku #133207

We still need to get
     together and get it all
started and laid out.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175254

There's military
     with machine guns at the bus
stations every day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166246

Couldn't one just claim
     to plead the 5th, and then
request a lawyer?

Score: 1          

Haiku #237444

As an male trending
     to Alpha, you shouldn't care
what men FEEL. Make sense?

Score: 1          

Haiku #135714

No accusations.
     No inquiry into it.
No formal charges.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106211

I like the winter
     because running in snow make
you feel like a boss.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8900

Wait, there are other
     types of libertarians
except misguided?

Score: 1          

Haiku #193553

Over all I'd say
     he is very balanced if
you know how he plays.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136433

I was so lonely,
     I engaged her, even though
I was suspicious.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69175

And I do murder
     all I want, and the amount
I want is zero.

Score: 1          

Haiku #156117

It still doesn't make
     much sense, but at least it's not
totally random.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224719

In that case (no pun
     intended), skinny cards could
be very helpful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #35213

Why are you butt hurt?
     Does Bethesda pay you or
are you that stupid?

Score: 1          

Haiku #166251

You don't really care
     either way, but regardless
he is getting dressed.

Score: 1          

Haiku #36753

And having alone
     time is perfectly healthy
and acceptable.

Score: 1          

Haiku #292876

I'm hoping to bike
     that by the start of July,
which is when we leave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #37151

Europe is fading
     into obscurity more
and more every year.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132935

If any species
     should have it's population
controlled it's humans.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106090

I read through your post
     and I can imagine its
not the best feeling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #124903

Hell, anyone who
     doesn't subscribe to it is
deluding themselves.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18747

I think gasoline
     in the garden would get me
in some deep trouble.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242691

After only one
     episode I am pretty
much over it.. Yep.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136656

Had she died in her
     sleep, we would not be having
this conversation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22879

Exactly, which is
     why I am the only one
who likes to party.

Score: 1          

Haiku #46756

vanilla server
     ran fine for me on a p4
with a gig of ram.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333288

I said the moment
     I posted this that I didn't
know the whole story.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18970

Then I thought about
     what my cats do when they see
something run! They pounce...

Score: 1          

Haiku #215463

Quite frankly, I don't
     think that will ever happen.
And let's say it did.

Score: 1          

Haiku #150445

It was the British
     BBQ Society's
Mayhem in May comp.

Score: 1          

Haiku #79726

Firm handshake and eye
     contact, after they see you
drinking alcohol.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22866

Alzheimer's sucks ass.
     What a horrible slowly
progressing disease...

Score: 1          

Haiku #209318

The key is to start
     playing the game, or else you
won't find anyone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #152032

As soon as someone
     initiates combat, beat
the hell out of em.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215531

He wasn't the least
     bit sympathetic about
my pleas in the car.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153717

It was okay, but
     I'm just not cut out to sit
at a desk all day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231713

If something happens
     and I need to shop around,
will remember this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19041

Does it stink that you
     get stuck with yet another
cost for a class? Sure.

Score: 1          

Haiku #276625

You never even
     mentioned what detail level
you are playing on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337197

Some people really
     shouldn't be allowed to use
social media.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106205

I thought the dog was
     in front of the pyramids,
looking unimpressed.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153743

You leave a gaping
     hole through whatever happened
to be in your way.

Score: 1          

Haiku #167947

No college degree
     guarantees you a job, why
would an internship?

Score: 1          

Haiku #238038

To be technical:
     The fat from such foods isn't
what makes you gain weight.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224698

I have lived my life
     where firearms are as common
as automobiles.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136726

All I can say is
     that it gets better after
the second season.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74830

Yeah, because when was
     the last time anyone fought
off a predator?

Score: 1          

Haiku #265085

And the second you
     try to cash them in, you are
given even more.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106194

A flat wing gains lift
     if it is at an angle
to the flow of air.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40409

I was joking when
     I demanded that I be
in every picture.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39127

That being said, there
     is some value in pointing
out the pope's a douche.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209273

To be fair, like half
     the cool things in the country
are in your time zone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #268491

I'm going to take
     your liver, son." "What the fuck?
That's so messed up, dad!"

Score: 1          

Haiku #265165

It makes me feel like
     I'm playing a game, always
out guessing the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74855

The best part is when
     all the old Uncles get drunk
and tell dirty jokes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23673

Neither of us do
     anything for our birthdays,
nor do we care to.

Score: 1          

Haiku #93756

Go to sleep one night,
     and wake up in period
as your persona!

Score: 1          

Haiku #23679

Well, give it a go,
     and if it's no use, at least
you can say you tried.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106224

I think Jesse plans
     on telling Flynn everything
about his father.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348600

With extra biscuits.
     Congratulations, that was
the correct answer!

Score: 1          

Haiku #215530

This would be like you
     getting caught up in Russian
cyber policy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348598

You are posting here
     too frequently, so your post
has been deleted.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224684

Palestine honors
     the criminals who murdered
innocent people.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348596

What fucking ego.
     Well I never seem to get
further than two weeks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69181

Just thank your lucky
     stars they were solid nuggets
and not hershey squirts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333785

Source: am a toaster
     owner and love my toaster.
I did read OPs post.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283073

I was looking high
     and low for it but couldn't
find a hard number.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61253

I can see around
     corners easier and spot
dangers easier.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283190

If only we were
     as skinny as the first time
we thought we were fat.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61372

Holy shit, had no
     idea about this, thanks
for letting us know!

Score: 1          

Haiku #242696

Seems like a pretty
     bold statement to make without
providing a source.

Score: 1          

Haiku #2722

Nice try Michael Bay.
     How much do you earn in tips
on an average day?

Score: 1          

Haiku #69166

Puns and other smart
     alec remarks are what makes
the world go around.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333859

So I think a good
     place to start is to not feel
ashamed of yourself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215452

I think after "q"
     I would say "u,", and "r" was
in the wrong place, too.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62797

A college degree
     or diploma will improve
your chances a lot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193554

Or take a day trip
     up to Toronto and just
walk around downtown.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62959

Another, very
     common attack vector is
the advertisers.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196373

Life doesn't need our
     permission to progress from
one stage to the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333923

But we were talking
     about what people believe,
not what's actually true.

Score: 1          

Haiku #45

Age does not always
     bring wisdom, just as the young
are not all foolish.

Score: 1          

Haiku #98266

Culinary arts
     is a pretty difficult
thing to get into.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210466

Houston and Dallas
     are cities with no zoning,
and they are booming.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62973

Could you explain why
     you are not a candidate
for a surgery?

Score: 1          

Haiku #30784

Ripping a CD
     and sending it to a friend
is not illegal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #271993

She could have voted
     against, abstained, or spoken
out against the war.

Score: 1          

Haiku #180911

Try to grab a guy
     who isn't awesome right now
but has high upside.

Score: 1          

Haiku #246208

I'm done responding
     to you, go ahead make some
joke for the last word.

Score: 1          

Haiku #301002

Holy shit. You can
     lead a horse to water, but
you can't make it drink.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64056

Also, I agree
     that the intent is to cause
emotional stress.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193562

I can guarantee
     you that she isn't over
thinking it like this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337064

Why do you think porn
     sites have the highest traffic
on the internet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #283368

Just eat when hungry.
     It is a very primal
way of existing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #63879

And I thought I was
     so clever before I saw
you beat me to it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206446

I know I would love
     to see a preview of Beth
before the train scene.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64161

If you are asking
     was he a gang banger, then
the answer is no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333885

The scene where Gus tells
     Shawn that he talked to a ghost
when he was a child.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83513

The guy down the road
     is a lazy criminal
and lives in a shack.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215430

Edition? My case
     has been made by every vote
banning gay marriage.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74822

She says "It won't light?"
     Walks over, opens the lid,
sticks her head in, and...

Score: 1          

Haiku #106196

Why do I have you
     tagged as animal fucker
likes german shepherds?

Score: 1          

Haiku #155564

The world is so real
     that you can practically touch
the crumbling plaster.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83102

I saw it coming.
     I saw it coming. I didn't
want it to happen.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64393

Thus, I didn't imply
     anything beyond speaking
about abortion.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106193

Holy shit I can't
     even begin to describe
how jealous I am.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64611

If you really want
     easier combat lower
the difficulty.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39119

I see, so they fly
     from Korea to NA specially,
just to qualify?

Score: 1          

Haiku #114840

Look at their picture
     side by side with anything
and it looks awful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215512

Obama knows this,
     hence why he is so desperate
to get a deal. Ha!

Score: 1          

Haiku #65230

They'll eventually
     prove that Mercury isn't
actually a planet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #326401

If I take a gun
     and walk out into the street
and randomly fire.

Score: 1          

Haiku #170032

I SAY TO YOU, THERE'S
     NOTHING WRONG, GIVE ME A STICK
AND I'LL SING ALONG.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175260

I genuinely
     see it as a take on our
current society.

Score: 1          

Haiku #52824

If it's a shaved look
     like Jason Statham or Bruce
Willis, then it's fine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242692

I've had to use these
     options since my husband is
heavier than me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #346726

I don't think Logan
     would have lifted a finger
to save Juliette.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215446

I was also picked
     on for my lack of knowledge
in sexual things.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242699

(for people that want
     to help, but are too lazy
to look up that floor).

Score: 1          

Haiku #69171

This gives me great hope
     that citizens can stand up
to unlawful acts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #66620

You can even find
     vegetarian dog food
pretty easily.

Score: 1          

Haiku #93795

You know how that works?
     It's just a bike, but I know
things about my bike.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18931

I don't know how much
     influence I would have, but
I think I could help.

Score: 1          

Haiku #114837

See if you like it.
     i refuse do go aussie
just on principle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67084

In my opinion,
     every Pelican album
tops Australasia.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215569

And of course if one
     finger is wet, chances are
the others are too.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215429

I didn't understand
     why the humans were such dicks.
Haven't seen chappie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283058

It's scary sometimes
     how he chooses to word his
sentences sometimes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67559

What is the best way
     to approach an attractive
woman at a bar?

Score: 1          

Haiku #153727

This guy posts about
     how bad the marauder is
and i refute him.

Score: 1          

Haiku #144400

Being better than
     average is good so don't be
afraid about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22875

All because they want
     to get their hands on that sweet,
sweet technology.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69470

Another title,
     a line in a book, a place
in the hearts of men.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215540

This is why you should
     have no part in deciding
the fate of mankind.

Score: 1          

Haiku #70823

The easiest way
     to illustrate this one is
with an example.

Score: 1          

Haiku #329136

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83076

I don't read Chinese.
     (Or is it Japanese?) No,
thank you. nope, you leave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #117259

First off, I don't know
     why you think I'm complaining
about anything.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83120

What flavor? If you
     want to learn how to build good
decks, stop building decks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74852

You implied that it's
     obvious why a junkie
would stab somebody.

Score: 1          

Haiku #70838

And for the record:
     liking music doesn't make
you patriotic.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193559

I have about four
     prescriptions that have my wife's
name on them, not mine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #71031

I was all ready
     to say this was a silly
over reaction.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69194

hopefully homeless
     guy made off with random black
fellas burrito.

Score: 1          

Haiku #7

Something else: I've found
     that not watching TV has
been a huge time gain.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333926

I'm sure lecturing
     people like they're children will
really change their minds.

Score: 1          

Haiku #44

Unfortunately,
     young people like this often
end up in Japan.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39120

I'd light up her world
     like nobody else, so hard.
I'll keep my eyes peeled.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175255

And then you will be
     like everyone else ma friend.
"Shit how'd i miss that".

Score: 1          

Haiku #19644

yeah its not always
     the same as blood like you get
when you cut your arm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5556

I know it's said all
     the time, but I really don't
find implants sexy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215543

I knew that as soon
     as I stopped with the milk I'd
go back to normal.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5549

They can take credit
     for your successes but blame
you for your failures.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333287

When I stop winning,
     I'll stop doing it. I like
the story the most.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5545

You seem terribly
     uneducated about
cycles of history.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153728

They attempt to eat
     almost anything Truly,
Lack of God is great.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175409

Just imagine, had
     she been alone, she likely
would have died. Scary.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209362

It sucks. It's my first
     valentines day since my last
boyfriend passed away.

Score: 1          

Haiku #75707

I just discovered
     this sub today and this is
fucking amazing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #229268

they say, as they call
     their dealer and get mad when
he doesn't answer.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5087

Was anyone else
     expecting to see a bird
rather than a breast?

Score: 1          

Haiku #333790

This way he knows what
     he is going to see when
you finally meet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #3519

Lets say I show up
     at a local firehouse
and say I want in.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193560

Don't worry about
     motivation, just do what
you can when you can.

Score: 1          

Haiku #4

Writing software fast
     doesn't necessarily
yield spaghetti code.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106137

I could eat a whole
     platter but I think that one
would get boring quick.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5

Most of Netscape's code
     got written while burning both
end of the candle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196388

Breast shells are worn when
     not nursing to help draw out
inverted nipples.

Score: 1          

Haiku #11

Nothing would please me
     more than watching the music
industry implode.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193573

I don't know about
     all that, but it has always
been easy for me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #13

And do you really
     want an atrocity like
that on your conscience?

Score: 1          

Haiku #242717

As simple as this,
     I love it and will never
own a smaller phone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #25

If we were allowed
     to eat our votes nobody
would get elected.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224717

Specifically ones
     that would be fun for drinking
and well, more drinking?

Score: 1          

Haiku #8319

We also had troops
     engaging specifically
in combat missions.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83092

I like this account.
     Fuck everyone who doesn't
get the sarcasm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #31

I can think of two
     useful beliefs I espouse
that contradict yours.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215520

I want that! I don't
     care who to. I just want that!
Can confirm. Owned one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #32

So, raise you hand if
     you currently trust Sony.
Yeah, that's what I thought.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155544

Everyone else was
     the same way, turning mindless
and unresponsive.

Score: 1          

Haiku #33

It has a little
     camera, which is uncommon
but not unheard of.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83079

Nobody was trying
     to make you feel bad, you were
subtly bragging.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18915

It would be different
     if it worked for quite some time
and then stopped working.

Score: 1          

Haiku #269003

I bet the whole thing
     is all so some guy could hide
that porn magazine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18918

My mother: No, you
     just don't want to go to church
because you're lazy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132880

Thanks! Yeah, but he was
     moving from the shadows cast
by the nearby lights.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18925

ma'am?! Dammit, Jerry!
     Doesn't matter if you're black
or white. Fire blanket.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300878

I'm so confused right
     now, I don't even know what
decision to make.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18921

I don't with any
     level of certainty, now
that you mention it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #314832

At least it will be
     until tons of people start
getting hit by cars.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18937

What kind of spin does
     the Chinese government put
on this incident?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19705

So put the crappy
     people on the crappy team?
That isn't balance.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18926

Going in to Pep
     Boys is amazing. I love
basking in that smell.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69184

I have a friend who
     does it, and she says its kicks
the shit out of her.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18923

If I were to watch
     one episode, and only
one, which should I watch?

Score: 1          

Haiku #242695

What were they planning
     on doing if they caught him?
Assaulting him more?

Score: 1          


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Page updated on Friday Oct 20, 2017 12:57:04 PM CST.

A Cyrus Lopez snafu.