Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words. Details of how this was done are available in a blog post.

These pages are regenerated every 3 minutes with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #708

As little labor
     regulation as you can
get away with John.

Score: 2          

Haiku #347205

Like, what the fuck, ma?
     You couldn't even ask me
if it was cool first?

Score: 2          

Haiku #314810

Whereas if a man
     said something happened, no one
questions or doubts it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #119297

You should be happy
     that you were able to be
diagnosed early.

Score: 2          

Haiku #193562

I can guarantee
     you that she isn't over
thinking it like this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #27370

Helen's reply was
     disappointing and came off
as condescending.

Score: 1          

Haiku #93795

You know how that works?
     It's just a bike, but I know
things about my bike.

Score: 1          

Haiku #125335

I just went to their
     website to get more info.
It's unusable.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193560

Don't worry about
     motivation, just do what
you can when you can.

Score: 1          

Haiku #125849

I hate my country.
     I'm a virgin so its not
herpes There's a ghost.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166244

With an audible
     and dramatic sigh Audrey
jabbed at her keyboard.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106187

However they were
     not as lucky as they thought.
It was a bloodbath.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242695

What were they planning
     on doing if they caught him?
Assaulting him more?

Score: 1          

Haiku #122277

Something that would not
     have been possible if you
didn't have that one month.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237451

The thing is, if you
     feel as if you're too squishy,
then you probably are.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106240

It just lacks that... stuff...
     you know the shit that gets you
wired up and awake?

Score: 1          

Haiku #69171

This gives me great hope
     that citizens can stand up
to unlawful acts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #129551

Generosity,
     in my opinion, is not
inherently good.

Score: 1          

Haiku #148979

Do greatness. I just
     went there, there a lot of white
people on that site.

Score: 1          

Haiku #156117

It still doesn't make
     much sense, but at least it's not
totally random.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337108

So many people
     need to get the giant sticks
out of their asses.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206403

If you don't like it,
     just keep on walking and look
at some other posts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206486

If I'm right I look
     like a genius, if I'm wrong
I look retarded.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166246

Couldn't one just claim
     to plead the 5th, and then
request a lawyer?

Score: 1          

Haiku #259492

A meal an a half?
     And mostly salads? You WILL
NOT build muscle with.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133207

We still need to get
     together and get it all
started and laid out.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210409

Looks quite excellent.
     Like legit asian takeout.
How did you cook it?

Score: 1          

Haiku #8900

Wait, there are other
     types of libertarians
except misguided?

Score: 1          

Haiku #39125

All time? I'd say John
     Elway. Currently, probably
Rodgers or Stafford.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135714

No accusations.
     No inquiry into it.
No formal charges.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175258

Too big. And I'm not
     making the joke, it looks too
big for a fighter.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136433

I was so lonely,
     I engaged her, even though
I was suspicious.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19644

yeah its not always
     the same as blood like you get
when you cut your arm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #29729

How did we ever
     win a war against such dark
Teutonic science?

Score: 1          

Haiku #333790

This way he knows what
     he is going to see when
you finally meet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #46756

vanilla server
     ran fine for me on a p4
with a gig of ram.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69194

hopefully homeless
     guy made off with random black
fellas burrito.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106090

I read through your post
     and I can imagine its
not the best feeling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196388

Breast shells are worn when
     not nursing to help draw out
inverted nipples.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18747

I think gasoline
     in the garden would get me
in some deep trouble.

Score: 1          

Haiku #329138

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136656

Had she died in her
     sleep, we would not be having
this conversation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215531

He wasn't the least
     bit sympathetic about
my pleas in the car.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18970

Then I thought about
     what my cats do when they see
something run! They pounce...

Score: 1          

Haiku #39118

It's not about up
     or down it's about equal.
There are bedbug dogs?

Score: 1          

Haiku #35213

Why are you butt hurt?
     Does Bethesda pay you or
are you that stupid?

Score: 1          

Haiku #39008

Or maybe the fact
     that it's often hard to tell
the good from the bad?

Score: 1          

Haiku #153717

It was okay, but
     I'm just not cut out to sit
at a desk all day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224695

Hypothetically,
     this new approach might let them
get away with it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #36753

And having alone
     time is perfectly healthy
and acceptable.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283089

Running into bugs
     is completely normal if
you're signed up for this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #37151

Europe is fading
     into obscurity more
and more every year.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132882

Find more positive
     role models and read their works,
study their habits.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136726

All I can say is
     that it gets better after
the second season.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136573

"What are you working
     out today?" "Dude, it's Friday.
Biceps and chest son.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153743

You leave a gaping
     hole through whatever happened
to be in your way.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215512

Obama knows this,
     hence why he is so desperate
to get a deal. Ha!

Score: 1          

Haiku #150445

It was the British
     BBQ Society's
Mayhem in May comp.

Score: 1          

Haiku #114837

See if you like it.
     i refuse do go aussie
just on principle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22866

Alzheimer's sucks ass.
     What a horrible slowly
progressing disease...

Score: 1          

Haiku #175260

I genuinely
     see it as a take on our
current society.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265085

And the second you
     try to cash them in, you are
given even more.

Score: 1          

Haiku #196297

Its illogical.
     Queer christian theology
makes no sense to me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19041

Does it stink that you
     get stuck with yet another
cost for a class? Sure.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106137

I could eat a whole
     platter but I think that one
would get boring quick.

Score: 1          

Haiku #152032

As soon as someone
     initiates combat, beat
the hell out of em.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224688

I feel like we should
     let them be recruited just
to be rid of them.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337197

Some people really
     shouldn't be allowed to use
social media.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22871

Living with someone
     in a relationship tests
all of your patience.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209273

To be fair, like half
     the cool things in the country
are in your time zone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153751

Trying to get the blade
     father away from you will
only make things worse.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238038

To be technical:
     The fat from such foods isn't
what makes you gain weight.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39119

I see, so they fly
     from Korea to NA specially,
just to qualify?

Score: 1          

Haiku #265165

It makes me feel like
     I'm playing a game, always
out guessing the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69179

Enthusiasm.
     Even better than that is
when it turns you on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23673

Neither of us do
     anything for our birthdays,
nor do we care to.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209315

You're not an addict
     because you have good coping
skills for your issues.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40409

I was joking when
     I demanded that I be
in every picture.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216395

My last girlfriend liked
     the hard kidding that would leave
our lips feeling bruised.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23679

Well, give it a go,
     and if it's no use, at least
you can say you tried.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333792

I'm aware of where
     I am in reality
so I try to move.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348600

With extra biscuits.
     Congratulations, that was
the correct answer!

Score: 1          

Haiku #231713

If something happens
     and I need to shop around,
will remember this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348598

You are posting here
     too frequently, so your post
has been deleted.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333933

Might be neat. Do you
     know any trans singers who
do something like that?

Score: 1          

Haiku #348596

What fucking ego.
     Well I never seem to get
further than two weeks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106224

I think Jesse plans
     on telling Flynn everything
about his father.

Score: 1          

Haiku #2722

Nice try Michael Bay.
     How much do you earn in tips
on an average day?

Score: 1          

Haiku #22879

Exactly, which is
     why I am the only one
who likes to party.

Score: 1          

Haiku #271993

She could have voted
     against, abstained, or spoken
out against the war.

Score: 1          

Haiku #314832

At least it will be
     until tons of people start
getting hit by cars.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333785

Source: am a toaster
     owner and love my toaster.
I did read OPs post.

Score: 1          

Haiku #259443

You have a point there
     Damn straight Any ace streams yet?
Learn from your mistakes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74822

She says "It won't light?"
     Walks over, opens the lid,
sticks her head in, and...

Score: 1          

Haiku #74873

No one know for sure,
     but they do know it isn't
because of drowning.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333859

So I think a good
     place to start is to not feel
ashamed of yourself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238039

The real question is,
     why haven't you checked yourself
for autism yet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #83513

The guy down the road
     is a lazy criminal
and lives in a shack.

Score: 1          

Haiku #118807

Seriously though,
     California is the best
citrus growing state.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333923

But we were talking
     about what people believe,
not what's actually true.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224694

It's all in your head.
     Happy Birthday! Hope it is
one to remember!

Score: 1          

Haiku #246208

I'm done responding
     to you, go ahead make some
joke for the last word.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19617

Cold even. Man, two
     weeks ago I had a dream
that went just like this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242699

(for people that want
     to help, but are too lazy
to look up that floor).

Score: 1          

Haiku #211043

Porn addiction is
     actually one of the hardest
things to quit I've found.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337064

Why do you think porn
     sites have the highest traffic
on the internet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #333886

[removed] Get married
     to someone who care about
you and your interests.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155564

The world is so real
     that you can practically touch
the crumbling plaster.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215437

Fuck the government
     man they don't do shit to keep
nation safe. Looks good!

Score: 1          

Haiku #61253

I can see around
     corners easier and spot
dangers easier.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215532

"They put everyone
     in a big circle and then
do them one by one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #114840

Look at their picture
     side by side with anything
and it looks awful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #167947

No college degree
     guarantees you a job, why
would an internship?

Score: 1          

Haiku #61372

Holy shit, had no
     idea about this, thanks
for letting us know!

Score: 1          

Haiku #301045

No two people are
     going to have the exact
same experience.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62797

A college degree
     or diploma will improve
your chances a lot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83136

I have a hard time
     believing that that he smeared
real blood on that girl.

Score: 1          

Haiku #170032

I SAY TO YOU, THERE'S
     NOTHING WRONG, GIVE ME A STICK
AND I'LL SING ALONG.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106211

I like the winter
     because running in snow make
you feel like a boss.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215429

I didn't understand
     why the humans were such dicks.
Haven't seen chappie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #211014

Wipe off the snow from
     your nose and lean back and you
should be good to go.

Score: 1          

Haiku #52824

If it's a shaved look
     like Jason Statham or Bruce
Willis, then it's fine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337874

Maybe your bank did
     not transfer your mony back
to your account yet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #62959

Another, very
     common attack vector is
the advertisers.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19610

Like I said before,
     a good photographer will
know what they're doing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #98266

Culinary arts
     is a pretty difficult
thing to get into.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193575

That and the camera
     seems to be zoomed in too close
much of the time. Why?

Score: 1          

Haiku #346726

I don't think Logan
     would have lifted a finger
to save Juliette.

Score: 1          

Haiku #259399

She said that she was
     proud to be a moderate.
I'm confused... Hi there!

Score: 1          

Haiku #62973

Could you explain why
     you are not a candidate
for a surgery?

Score: 1          

Haiku #276625

You never even
     mentioned what detail level
you are playing on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #144400

Being better than
     average is good so don't be
afraid about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19641

I am not calling
     this bullshit, I am just trying
to figure it out.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18931

I don't know how much
     influence I would have, but
I think I could help.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193553

Over all I'd say
     he is very balanced if
you know how he plays.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64056

Also, I agree
     that the intent is to cause
emotional stress.

Score: 1          

Haiku #329137

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #63879

And I thought I was
     so clever before I saw
you beat me to it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215452

I think after "q"
     I would say "u,", and "r" was
in the wrong place, too.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83076

I don't read Chinese.
     (Or is it Japanese?) No,
thank you. nope, you leave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106205

I thought the dog was
     in front of the pyramids,
looking unimpressed.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64161

If you are asking
     was he a gang banger, then
the answer is no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237444

As an male trending
     to Alpha, you shouldn't care
what men FEEL. Make sense?

Score: 1          

Haiku #64393

Thus, I didn't imply
     anything beyond speaking
about abortion.

Score: 1          

Haiku #229268

they say, as they call
     their dealer and get mad when
he doesn't answer.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83120

What flavor? If you
     want to learn how to build good
decks, stop building decks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242696

Seems like a pretty
     bold statement to make without
providing a source.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64611

If you really want
     easier combat lower
the difficulty.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283073

I was looking high
     and low for it but couldn't
find a hard number.

Score: 1          

Haiku #325415

And let's be honest
     that's me being nice, okay,
that's me being nice.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83097

Even though it's more
     expensive, it's also much
much more efficient.

Score: 1          

Haiku #65230

They'll eventually
     prove that Mercury isn't
actually a planet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215440

The only time Jack
     has ever annoyed me was
his butterfly thing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #38089

Interpretation
     is a very normative
process after all.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193556

Maybe Murray too.
     I'd drop Ivory for Herron
no questions asked though.

Score: 1          

Haiku #7

Something else: I've found
     that not watching TV has
been a huge time gain.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153746

Would it not just be
     easier to get a job
or start a business.?

Score: 1          

Haiku #196256

I have to ask, what
     have these specific castles
done to annoy you?

Score: 1          

Haiku #106206

Can't handle shit when
     you have no ammo and chose
your battle poorly?

Score: 1          

Haiku #159099

anything that's not
     your salary is a perk
aka benefit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242709

"Unconditional"
     surrender is not something
that Japan wanted.

Score: 1          

Haiku #44

Unfortunately,
     young people like this often
end up in Japan.

Score: 1          

Haiku #292876

I'm hoping to bike
     that by the start of July,
which is when we leave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133736

Everyone I asked
     on the street was like "hmmm... yah..
yah I know that place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224713

Now I understand
     how we read that differently.
Sorry about that.

Score: 1          

Haiku #66620

You can even find
     vegetarian dog food
pretty easily.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193568

There is no excuse
     for thugs to rule the hood' just
cause they think they can.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210994

Price for conversion
     is roughly 36k. Not a joke.
Stick insects. makes sense.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242692

I've had to use these
     options since my husband is
heavier than me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67084

In my opinion,
     every Pelican album
tops Australasia.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135929

You can easily
     shoot a passenger while trying
to hit the engine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67559

What is the best way
     to approach an attractive
woman at a bar?

Score: 1          

Haiku #216407

And conservatives
     don't corner the market on
religion, either.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175255

And then you will be
     like everyone else ma friend.
"Shit how'd i miss that".

Score: 1          

Haiku #175267

Just purrs like crazy..
     Probably thinks it's a massage
pillow for him. Yes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69470

Another title,
     a line in a book, a place
in the hearts of men.

Score: 1          

Haiku #161233

what a valuable
     asset to society.
Muzzle devices.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135925

For better or worse,
     they do **NOT** negotiate.
The price is the price.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69173

Aversion in taste
     exists to protect you from
potential poisons.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5549

They can take credit
     for your successes but blame
you for your failures.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74830

Yeah, because when was
     the last time anyone fought
off a predator?

Score: 1          

Haiku #5556

I know it's said all
     the time, but I really don't
find implants sexy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231696

If it didn't run like
     shit, it would be a great game
on PC as well.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5545

You seem terribly
     uneducated about
cycles of history.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132880

Thanks! Yeah, but he was
     moving from the shadows cast
by the nearby lights.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175409

Just imagine, had
     she been alone, she likely
would have died. Scary.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106196

Why do I have you
     tagged as animal fucker
likes german shepherds?

Score: 1          

Haiku #70823

The easiest way
     to illustrate this one is
with an example.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19569

I thought the series
     overall was pretty good
as I was watching.

Score: 1          

Haiku #115742

I'm trying not to wake
     my boyfriend with the shaking
bed from my crying.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210422

can you explain why
     the water doesn't drain by
seeping through the rocks?

Score: 1          

Haiku #70838

And for the record:
     liking music doesn't make
you patriotic.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215453

Eight sounds young but that's
     *way* to old to be screwing
up the alphabet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5087

Was anyone else
     expecting to see a bird
rather than a breast?

Score: 1          

Haiku #74852

You implied that it's
     obvious why a junkie
would stab somebody.

Score: 1          

Haiku #71031

I was all ready
     to say this was a silly
over reaction.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215463

Quite frankly, I don't
     think that will ever happen.
And let's say it did.

Score: 1          

Haiku #148977

My mate had it, then
     he updated his drivers
and it worked. Try it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283176

Enough sperm remain
     inside to storm the cervix
and hunt down that egg.

Score: 1          

Haiku #3519

Lets say I show up
     at a local firehouse
and say I want in.

Score: 1          

Haiku #273647

Some of its scenes are
     weak, but overall, there's some
pretty cool shit there.

Score: 1          


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A Cyrus Lopez snafu.