Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words. Details of how this was done are available in a blog post.

These pages are regenerated every 3 minutes with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #347205

Like, what the fuck, ma?
     You couldn't even ask me
if it was cool first?

Score: 2          

Haiku #314810

Whereas if a man
     said something happened, no one
questions or doubts it.

Score: 2          

Haiku #119297

You should be happy
     that you were able to be
diagnosed early.

Score: 2          

Haiku #6

I noticed that change
     from "What we did and did right"
to "what we're doing".

Score: 2          

Haiku #137338

I would love it if
     my phone automatically
responded for me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #122277

Something that would not
     have been possible if you
didn't have that one month.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231709

If that's accurate,
     it means that moderation
doesn't work for you.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106240

It just lacks that... stuff...
     you know the shit that gets you
wired up and awake?

Score: 1          

Haiku #237442

People are crazy.
     All circles are upside down.
Squares are right side up.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206403

If you don't like it,
     just keep on walking and look
at some other posts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283368

Just eat when hungry.
     It is a very primal
way of existing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #129551

Generosity,
     in my opinion, is not
inherently good.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69179

Enthusiasm.
     Even better than that is
when it turns you on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #29729

How did we ever
     win a war against such dark
Teutonic science?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215536

"Please sir, just stay there,
     don't do anything rash while
I wait for backup!"

Score: 1          

Haiku #166246

Couldn't one just claim
     to plead the 5th, and then
request a lawyer?

Score: 1          

Haiku #22879

Exactly, which is
     why I am the only one
who likes to party.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133207

We still need to get
     together and get it all
started and laid out.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106199

Even their houses,
     their art collections and all
are owed by the fund.

Score: 1          

Haiku #156117

It still doesn't make
     much sense, but at least it's not
totally random.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242695

What were they planning
     on doing if they caught him?
Assaulting him more?

Score: 1          

Haiku #8900

Wait, there are other
     types of libertarians
except misguided?

Score: 1          

Haiku #283106

I am sorry it's
     such a long story but thank
you for reading it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #135714

No accusations.
     No inquiry into it.
No formal charges.

Score: 1          

Haiku #124903

Hell, anyone who
     doesn't subscribe to it is
deluding themselves.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136433

I was so lonely,
     I engaged her, even though
I was suspicious.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74852

You implied that it's
     obvious why a junkie
would stab somebody.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106090

I read through your post
     and I can imagine its
not the best feeling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #271998

If you want to live
     in a decent area
in Detroit Metro...

Score: 1          

Haiku #46756

vanilla server
     ran fine for me on a p4
with a gig of ram.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83097

Even though it's more
     expensive, it's also much
much more efficient.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18747

I think gasoline
     in the garden would get me
in some deep trouble.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106192

Is it mainly homes
     and religious sites or are
there many places?

Score: 1          

Haiku #35213

Why are you butt hurt?
     Does Bethesda pay you or
are you that stupid?

Score: 1          

Haiku #106091

And they all turned out
     very, very successful
in their chosen fields.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136656

Had she died in her
     sleep, we would not be having
this conversation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #148979

Do greatness. I just
     went there, there a lot of white
people on that site.

Score: 1          

Haiku #36753

And having alone
     time is perfectly healthy
and acceptable.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215437

Fuck the government
     man they don't do shit to keep
nation safe. Looks good!

Score: 1          

Haiku #37151

Europe is fading
     into obscurity more
and more every year.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19610

Like I said before,
     a good photographer will
know what they're doing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18970

Then I thought about
     what my cats do when they see
something run! They pounce...

Score: 1          

Haiku #215520

I want that! I don't
     care who to. I just want that!
Can confirm. Owned one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153717

It was okay, but
     I'm just not cut out to sit
at a desk all day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19619

You do realize there
     are other kinds of conflicts
besides 'oil wars', right?

Score: 1          

Haiku #22866

Alzheimer's sucks ass.
     What a horrible slowly
progressing disease...

Score: 1          

Haiku #231714

Looks like other folks
     in thus thread agree just fine
though so whatever.

Score: 1          

Haiku #150445

It was the British
     BBQ Society's
Mayhem in May comp.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106142

One time my buddy
     and I had blazed up then gone
for some Burger King.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19041

Does it stink that you
     get stuck with yet another
cost for a class? Sure.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39008

Or maybe the fact
     that it's often hard to tell
the good from the bad?

Score: 1          

Haiku #152032

As soon as someone
     initiates combat, beat
the hell out of em.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224684

Palestine honors
     the criminals who murdered
innocent people.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337197

Some people really
     shouldn't be allowed to use
social media.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333792

I'm aware of where
     I am in reality
so I try to move.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238038

To be technical:
     The fat from such foods isn't
what makes you gain weight.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39127

That being said, there
     is some value in pointing
out the pope's a douche.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136726

All I can say is
     that it gets better after
the second season.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237451

The thing is, if you
     feel as if you're too squishy,
then you probably are.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265085

And the second you
     try to cash them in, you are
given even more.

Score: 1          

Haiku #314865

I would never date
     the sort of asshole who would
do this to someone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153743

You leave a gaping
     hole through whatever happened
to be in your way.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193567

He's come to learn who
     mother and father refers
to just like our names.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265165

It makes me feel like
     I'm playing a game, always
out guessing the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39121

Read up on hormones
     and behavior and their roles
between each other.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40409

I was joking when
     I demanded that I be
in every picture.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193575

That and the camera
     seems to be zoomed in too close
much of the time. Why?

Score: 1          

Haiku #23673

Neither of us do
     anything for our birthdays,
nor do we care to.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19663

Not a good combo...
     Then I will say it was far
better than it looks!

Score: 1          

Haiku #209273

To be fair, like half
     the cool things in the country
are in your time zone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283075

Like I said elsewhere,
     the excessive pocket holes
are sort of ok.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348600

With extra biscuits.
     Congratulations, that was
the correct answer!

Score: 1          

Haiku #83079

Nobody was trying
     to make you feel bad, you were
subtly bragging.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348598

You are posting here
     too frequently, so your post
has been deleted.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19616

I said death. Some might
     argue that death is slightly
worse than injury.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348596

What fucking ego.
     Well I never seem to get
further than two weeks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136573

"What are you working
     out today?" "Dude, it's Friday.
Biceps and chest son.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23679

Well, give it a go,
     and if it's no use, at least
you can say you tried.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300877

And Roosevelt is
     Frank. Cool thanks! I will try out
that setup later!

Score: 1          

Haiku #2722

Nice try Michael Bay.
     How much do you earn in tips
on an average day?

Score: 1          

Haiku #39120

I'd light up her world
     like nobody else, so hard.
I'll keep my eyes peeled.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333785

Source: am a toaster
     owner and love my toaster.
I did read OPs post.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215532

"They put everyone
     in a big circle and then
do them one by one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333859

So I think a good
     place to start is to not feel
ashamed of yourself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #276625

You never even
     mentioned what detail level
you are playing on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333923

But we were talking
     about what people believe,
not what's actually true.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106211

I like the winter
     because running in snow make
you feel like a boss.

Score: 1          

Haiku #271993

She could have voted
     against, abstained, or spoken
out against the war.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39056

Actually, I'd be down
     to purchase some cat bones if
anyone's selling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #246208

I'm done responding
     to you, go ahead make some
joke for the last word.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224719

In that case (no pun
     intended), skinny cards could
be very helpful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74822

She says "It won't light?"
     Walks over, opens the lid,
sticks her head in, and...

Score: 1          

Haiku #337878

And when you tell them
     yes, don't be afraid to roll
with their idea.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337064

Why do you think porn
     sites have the highest traffic
on the internet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #242692

I've had to use these
     options since my husband is
heavier than me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61253

I can see around
     corners easier and spot
dangers easier.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74855

The best part is when
     all the old Uncles get drunk
and tell dirty jokes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83513

The guy down the road
     is a lazy criminal
and lives in a shack.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136542

It could be pretty
     satisfying to rip up
books that you hated.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61372

Holy shit, had no
     idea about this, thanks
for letting us know!

Score: 1          

Haiku #242717

As simple as this,
     I love it and will never
own a smaller phone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155564

The world is so real
     that you can practically touch
the crumbling plaster.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69194

hopefully homeless
     guy made off with random black
fellas burrito.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62797

A college degree
     or diploma will improve
your chances a lot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #124902

Sorry this has been
     more me venting than actually
offering you advice.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62959

Another, very
     common attack vector is
the advertisers.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333791

Anyway it was
     our first night there and we were
all pretty tired.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242699

(for people that want
     to help, but are too lazy
to look up that floor).

Score: 1          

Haiku #83092

I like this account.
     Fuck everyone who doesn't
get the sarcasm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #114840

Look at their picture
     side by side with anything
and it looks awful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #292876

I'm hoping to bike
     that by the start of July,
which is when we leave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #98266

Culinary arts
     is a pretty difficult
thing to get into.

Score: 1          

Haiku #268491

I'm going to take
     your liver, son." "What the fuck?
That's so messed up, dad!"

Score: 1          

Haiku #62973

Could you explain why
     you are not a candidate
for a surgery?

Score: 1          

Haiku #83102

I saw it coming.
     I saw it coming. I didn't
want it to happen.

Score: 1          

Haiku #52824

If it's a shaved look
     like Jason Statham or Bruce
Willis, then it's fine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106137

I could eat a whole
     platter but I think that one
would get boring quick.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64056

Also, I agree
     that the intent is to cause
emotional stress.

Score: 1          

Haiku #329136

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #346726

I don't think Logan
     would have lifted a finger
to save Juliette.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209321

I just feel there are
     better solutions than just
killing the fetus.

Score: 1          

Haiku #63879

And I thought I was
     so clever before I saw
you beat me to it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215453

Eight sounds young but that's
     *way* to old to be screwing
up the alphabet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64161

If you are asking
     was he a gang banger, then
the answer is no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #314832

At least it will be
     until tons of people start
getting hit by cars.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18931

I don't know how much
     influence I would have, but
I think I could help.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209355

Yes, it will be hard...
     but you'd be doing both you
and him a favor.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64393

Thus, I didn't imply
     anything beyond speaking
about abortion.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69171

This gives me great hope
     that citizens can stand up
to unlawful acts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64611

If you really want
     easier combat lower
the difficulty.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19511

Can anybody
     explain how the addressing
works on these networks?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215429

I didn't understand
     why the humans were such dicks.
Haven't seen chappie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242706

Well, fuck you too, kid
     Does that make him the shortest
pitcher in the league?

Score: 1          

Haiku #65230

They'll eventually
     prove that Mercury isn't
actually a planet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193574

But on the Mac side,
     the cost differential is
more esoteric.

Score: 1          

Haiku #170032

I SAY TO YOU, THERE'S
     NOTHING WRONG, GIVE ME A STICK
AND I'LL SING ALONG.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224694

It's all in your head.
     Happy Birthday! Hope it is
one to remember!

Score: 1          

Haiku #159099

anything that's not
     your salary is a perk
aka benefit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224686

Worse than Dominos
     I honestly didn't enjoy
Skyward Sword as much.

Score: 1          

Haiku #144400

Being better than
     average is good so don't be
afraid about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74830

Yeah, because when was
     the last time anyone fought
off a predator?

Score: 1          

Haiku #83076

I don't read Chinese.
     (Or is it Japanese?) No,
thank you. nope, you leave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166248

Place road directly
     over river and the bridge
will create itself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #133736

Everyone I asked
     on the street was like "hmmm... yah..
yah I know that place.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224713

Now I understand
     how we read that differently.
Sorry about that.

Score: 1          

Haiku #210994

Price for conversion
     is roughly 36k. Not a joke.
Stick insects. makes sense.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153746

Would it not just be
     easier to get a job
or start a business.?

Score: 1          

Haiku #66620

You can even find
     vegetarian dog food
pretty easily.

Score: 1          

Haiku #326401

If I take a gun
     and walk out into the street
and randomly fire.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67084

In my opinion,
     every Pelican album
tops Australasia.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106205

I thought the dog was
     in front of the pyramids,
looking unimpressed.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83120

What flavor? If you
     want to learn how to build good
decks, stop building decks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193566

If you deviate
     from the plan, get back on it.
You can't change the past.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67559

What is the best way
     to approach an attractive
woman at a bar?

Score: 1          

Haiku #300902

LOL Not sure
     otherwise, my store doesn't
have weird tasting buns.

Score: 1          

Haiku #7

Something else: I've found
     that not watching TV has
been a huge time gain.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106250

With my earnings from
     the stock market I'd open
up my own restaurant.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69470

Another title,
     a line in a book, a place
in the hearts of men.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333917

You're picking Gaudreau,
     Wheeler, Kesler and Marchand
over Seguin? Thanks!

Score: 1          

Haiku #115742

I'm trying not to wake
     my boyfriend with the shaking
bed from my crying.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215481

I love your software
     and tell others about it.
Haters gonna hate.

Score: 1          

Haiku #44

Unfortunately,
     young people like this often
end up in Japan.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132390

I'm not retarded,
     I did my research before
asking and posting.

Score: 1          

Haiku #70823

The easiest way
     to illustrate this one is
with an example.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300949

He wanted to talk
     to me first but I just passed
the phone to my mom.

Score: 1          

Haiku #148977

My mate had it, then
     he updated his drivers
and it worked. Try it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224702

It doesn't even
     have any wheels No, no Tom
Hanks in the movie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #70838

And for the record:
     liking music doesn't make
you patriotic.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39119

I see, so they fly
     from Korea to NA specially,
just to qualify?

Score: 1          

Haiku #71031

I was all ready
     to say this was a silly
over reaction.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19526

Just go for someone
     that makes you feel good about
yourself already!

Score: 1          

Haiku #216394

I didn't know we were
     being graded on spelling
and punctuation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106197

Yes, I'm a prescribed
     Canadian. That fact was
almost fun. Almost.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175255

And then you will be
     like everyone else ma friend.
"Shit how'd i miss that".

Score: 1          

Haiku #329138

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #216410

"Women" aspect is
     just one that blew up. (WARNING!
Sarcasm below!)

Score: 1          

Haiku #209303

He wants to rebuild
     America from the pure
genes of the Enclave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5556

I know it's said all
     the time, but I really don't
find implants sexy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #93795

You know how that works?
     It's just a bike, but I know
things about my bike.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5545

You seem terribly
     uneducated about
cycles of history.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215446

I was also picked
     on for my lack of knowledge
in sexual things.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5549

They can take credit
     for your successes but blame
you for your failures.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193553

Over all I'd say
     he is very balanced if
you know how he plays.

Score: 1          

Haiku #335570

Probably shit myself.
     I mean, I'd die happy right
after a good poop.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19705

So put the crappy
     people on the crappy team?
That isn't balance.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175409

Just imagine, had
     she been alone, she likely
would have died. Scary.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132880

Thanks! Yeah, but he was
     moving from the shadows cast
by the nearby lights.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5087

Was anyone else
     expecting to see a bird
rather than a breast?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215440

The only time Jack
     has ever annoyed me was
his butterfly thing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #3519

Lets say I show up
     at a local firehouse
and say I want in.

Score: 1          

Haiku #228276

This is really great!
     And, kind. Can't wait to try them.
My order is in.

Score: 1          

Haiku #75707

I just discovered
     this sub today and this is
fucking amazing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19598

The way they oppress
     and control black folks now is
through the War on Drugs.

Score: 1          

Haiku #4

Writing software fast
     doesn't necessarily
yield spaghetti code.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206486

If I'm right I look
     like a genius, if I'm wrong
I look retarded.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5

Most of Netscape's code
     got written while burning both
end of the candle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238048

Everything is hard
     before it becomes easy.
Can you hear me now?

Score: 1          

Haiku #11

Nothing would please me
     more than watching the music
industry implode.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337874

Maybe your bank did
     not transfer your mony back
to your account yet?

Score: 1          

Haiku #13

And do you really
     want an atrocity like
that on your conscience?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19617

Cold even. Man, two
     weeks ago I had a dream
that went just like this.

Score: 1          


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Page updated on Wednesday Feb 21, 2018 08:45:04 PM CST.

A Cyrus Lopez snafu.