Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words. Details of how this was done are available in a blog post.

These pages are regenerated every 3 minutes with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 2 of 1746

Haiku #93756

Go to sleep one night,
     and wake up in period
as your persona!

Score: 1          

Haiku #18747

I think gasoline
     in the garden would get me
in some deep trouble.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224717

Specifically ones
     that would be fun for drinking
and well, more drinking?

Score: 1          

Haiku #136656

Had she died in her
     sleep, we would not be having
this conversation.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283117

Again, not to say
     you can't be interesting if
you don't do these things.

Score: 1          

Haiku #46756

vanilla server
     ran fine for me on a p4
with a gig of ram.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333787

Why would I? No, there
     is nothing to base that on,
as far as I know.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18938

These people don't want
     to be there, there is nowhere
else for them to go.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39008

Or maybe the fact
     that it's often hard to tell
the good from the bad?

Score: 1          

Haiku #150445

It was the British
     BBQ Society's
Mayhem in May comp.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300901

Let it become not
     red for a few seconds if
you heat it red hot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #152032

As soon as someone
     initiates combat, beat
the hell out of em.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19671

And I'd argue that's
     your fault and a very poor
decision you've made.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18970

Then I thought about
     what my cats do when they see
something run! They pounce...

Score: 1          

Haiku #333287

When I stop winning,
     I'll stop doing it. I like
the story the most.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22866

Alzheimer's sucks ass.
     What a horrible slowly
progressing disease...

Score: 1          

Haiku #106198

I am a senior
     in high school and with that comes
the dreaded question.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153717

It was okay, but
     I'm just not cut out to sit
at a desk all day.

Score: 1          

Haiku #301022

I have my reasons
     and I don't give a fuck what
other people do.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19041

Does it stink that you
     get stuck with yet another
cost for a class? Sure.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193566

If you deviate
     from the plan, get back on it.
You can't change the past.

Score: 1          

Haiku #337197

Some people really
     shouldn't be allowed to use
social media.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153728

They attempt to eat
     almost anything Truly,
Lack of God is great.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153743

You leave a gaping
     hole through whatever happened
to be in your way.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231713

If something happens
     and I need to shop around,
will remember this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #238038

To be technical:
     The fat from such foods isn't
what makes you gain weight.

Score: 1          

Haiku #262484

Players today are
     faster, stronger, healthier
in terms of lifestyle...

Score: 1          

Haiku #209273

To be fair, like half
     the cool things in the country
are in your time zone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #132882

Find more positive
     role models and read their works,
study their habits.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265085

And the second you
     try to cash them in, you are
given even more.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242717

As simple as this,
     I love it and will never
own a smaller phone.

Score: 1          

Haiku #40409

I was joking when
     I demanded that I be
in every picture.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19705

So put the crappy
     people on the crappy team?
That isn't balance.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265165

It makes me feel like
     I'm playing a game, always
out guessing the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215453

Eight sounds young but that's
     *way* to old to be screwing
up the alphabet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61253

I can see around
     corners easier and spot
dangers easier.

Score: 1          

Haiku #301002

Holy shit. You can
     lead a horse to water, but
you can't make it drink.

Score: 1          

Haiku #61372

Holy shit, had no
     idea about this, thanks
for letting us know!

Score: 1          

Haiku #224698

I have lived my life
     where firearms are as common
as automobiles.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62797

A college degree
     or diploma will improve
your chances a lot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #155011

If I saw this guy
     doing that to a bike, I'd
punch him in the face.

Score: 1          

Haiku #62959

Another, very
     common attack vector is
the advertisers.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209362

It sucks. It's my first
     valentines day since my last
boyfriend passed away.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23673

Neither of us do
     anything for our birthdays,
nor do we care to.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166244

With an audible
     and dramatic sigh Audrey
jabbed at her keyboard.

Score: 1          

Haiku #98266

Culinary arts
     is a pretty difficult
thing to get into.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74830

Yeah, because when was
     the last time anyone fought
off a predator?

Score: 1          

Haiku #62973

Could you explain why
     you are not a candidate
for a surgery?

Score: 1          

Haiku #283190

If only we were
     as skinny as the first time
we thought we were fat.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64056

Also, I agree
     that the intent is to cause
emotional stress.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22870

Given time this will
     change as sectors other than
oil and gas take off.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348600

With extra biscuits.
     Congratulations, that was
the correct answer!

Score: 1          

Haiku #215463

Quite frankly, I don't
     think that will ever happen.
And let's say it did.

Score: 1          

Haiku #23679

Well, give it a go,
     and if it's no use, at least
you can say you tried.

Score: 1          

Haiku #283075

Like I said elsewhere,
     the excessive pocket holes
are sort of ok.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333785

Source: am a toaster
     owner and love my toaster.
I did read OPs post.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106205

I thought the dog was
     in front of the pyramids,
looking unimpressed.

Score: 1          

Haiku #63879

And I thought I was
     so clever before I saw
you beat me to it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #329138

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348598

You are posting here
     too frequently, so your post
has been deleted.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300949

He wanted to talk
     to me first but I just passed
the phone to my mom.

Score: 1          

Haiku #348596

What fucking ego.
     Well I never seem to get
further than two weeks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136573

"What are you working
     out today?" "Dude, it's Friday.
Biceps and chest son.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64161

If you are asking
     was he a gang banger, then
the answer is no.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242706

Well, fuck you too, kid
     Does that make him the shortest
pitcher in the league?

Score: 1          

Haiku #333859

So I think a good
     place to start is to not feel
ashamed of yourself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215520

I want that! I don't
     care who to. I just want that!
Can confirm. Owned one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #64393

Thus, I didn't imply
     anything beyond speaking
about abortion.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39119

I see, so they fly
     from Korea to NA specially,
just to qualify?

Score: 1          

Haiku #64611

If you really want
     easier combat lower
the difficulty.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19610

Like I said before,
     a good photographer will
know what they're doing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333923

But we were talking
     about what people believe,
not what's actually true.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69181

Just thank your lucky
     stars they were solid nuggets
and not hershey squirts.

Score: 1          

Haiku #65230

They'll eventually
     prove that Mercury isn't
actually a planet.

Score: 1          

Haiku #273647

Some of its scenes are
     weak, but overall, there's some
pretty cool shit there.

Score: 1          

Haiku #271993

She could have voted
     against, abstained, or spoken
out against the war.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242692

I've had to use these
     options since my husband is
heavier than me.

Score: 1          

Haiku #246208

I'm done responding
     to you, go ahead make some
joke for the last word.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69179

Enthusiasm.
     Even better than that is
when it turns you on.

Score: 1          

Haiku #2722

Nice try Michael Bay.
     How much do you earn in tips
on an average day?

Score: 1          

Haiku #237442

People are crazy.
     All circles are upside down.
Squares are right side up.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136726

All I can say is
     that it gets better after
the second season.

Score: 1          

Haiku #265212

There will always be
     poverty, as long as there
is humanity.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74822

She says "It won't light?"
     Walks over, opens the lid,
sticks her head in, and...

Score: 1          

Haiku #175260

I genuinely
     see it as a take on our
current society.

Score: 1          

Haiku #66620

You can even find
     vegetarian dog food
pretty easily.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224719

In that case (no pun
     intended), skinny cards could
be very helpful.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67084

In my opinion,
     every Pelican album
tops Australasia.

Score: 1          

Haiku #166251

You don't really care
     either way, but regardless
he is getting dressed.

Score: 1          

Haiku #67559

What is the best way
     to approach an attractive
woman at a bar?

Score: 1          

Haiku #196373

Life doesn't need our
     permission to progress from
one stage to the next.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242699

(for people that want
     to help, but are too lazy
to look up that floor).

Score: 1          

Haiku #269003

I bet the whole thing
     is all so some guy could hide
that porn magazine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69470

Another title,
     a line in a book, a place
in the hearts of men.

Score: 1          

Haiku #86934

Being inclusive
     is great, and we shouldn't turn
anyone away.

Score: 1          

Haiku #70823

The easiest way
     to illustrate this one is
with an example.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193553

Over all I'd say
     he is very balanced if
you know how he plays.

Score: 1          

Haiku #70838

And for the record:
     liking music doesn't make
you patriotic.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333913

[deleted] Not Moose,
     I like him so far. I'm not
mad about Bennett.

Score: 1          

Haiku #71031

I was all ready
     to say this was a silly
over reaction.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215430

Edition? My case
     has been made by every vote
banning gay marriage.

Score: 1          

Haiku #144400

Being better than
     average is good so don't be
afraid about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19617

Cold even. Man, two
     weeks ago I had a dream
that went just like this.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215429

I didn't understand
     why the humans were such dicks.
Haven't seen chappie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #300877

And Roosevelt is
     Frank. Cool thanks! I will try out
that setup later!

Score: 1          

Haiku #170032

I SAY TO YOU, THERE'S
     NOTHING WRONG, GIVE ME A STICK
AND I'LL SING ALONG.

Score: 1          

Haiku #329136

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83076

I don't read Chinese.
     (Or is it Japanese?) No,
thank you. nope, you leave.

Score: 1          

Haiku #136658

as the top post on
     my front page. So excellent.
I can't stop smiling.

Score: 1          

Haiku #83120

What flavor? If you
     want to learn how to build good
decks, stop building decks.

Score: 1          

Haiku #331981

You don't like to touch
     people's hands but you're willing
to handle money.

Score: 1          

Haiku #7

Something else: I've found
     that not watching TV has
been a huge time gain.

Score: 1          

Haiku #74863

Smoking weed isn't
     worth risking your health. I am.
Impressive sleuthing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #75707

I just discovered
     this sub today and this is
fucking amazing.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106190

Fuck dude that sucks, good
     on you for being honest
with yourself now though.

Score: 1          

Haiku #44

Unfortunately,
     young people like this often
end up in Japan.

Score: 1          

Haiku #242709

"Unconditional"
     surrender is not something
that Japan wanted.

Score: 1          

Haiku #8319

We also had troops
     engaging specifically
in combat missions.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19657

Just ask yourself this,
     if the roles were reversed, would
she be there for you?

Score: 1          

Haiku #175255

And then you will be
     like everyone else ma friend.
"Shit how'd i miss that".

Score: 1          

Haiku #209120

I agree that there
     shouldn't be cronyism
in place of merit.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5556

I know it's said all
     the time, but I really don't
find implants sexy.

Score: 1          

Haiku #193574

But on the Mac side,
     the cost differential is
more esoteric.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5549

They can take credit
     for your successes but blame
you for your failures.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19619

You do realize there
     are other kinds of conflicts
besides 'oil wars', right?

Score: 1          

Haiku #5545

You seem terribly
     uneducated about
cycles of history.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106193

Holy shit I can't
     even begin to describe
how jealous I am.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5087

Was anyone else
     expecting to see a bird
rather than a breast?

Score: 1          

Haiku #224695

Hypothetically,
     this new approach might let them
get away with it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #2356

And in any case,
     the onus is not on me.
Prove your fucking point.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231709

If that's accurate,
     it means that moderation
doesn't work for you.

Score: 1          

Haiku #175409

Just imagine, had
     she been alone, she likely
would have died. Scary.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333791

Anyway it was
     our first night there and we were
all pretty tired.

Score: 1          

Haiku #3519

Lets say I show up
     at a local firehouse
and say I want in.

Score: 1          

Haiku #206503

i made horrible
     choices but i know she is
the person i want.

Score: 1          

Haiku #4

Writing software fast
     doesn't necessarily
yield spaghetti code.

Score: 1          

Haiku #333886

[removed] Get married
     to someone who care about
you and your interests.

Score: 1          

Haiku #5

Most of Netscape's code
     got written while burning both
end of the candle.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209321

I just feel there are
     better solutions than just
killing the fetus.

Score: 1          

Haiku #11

Nothing would please me
     more than watching the music
industry implode.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19644

yeah its not always
     the same as blood like you get
when you cut your arm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #13

And do you really
     want an atrocity like
that on your conscience?

Score: 1          

Haiku #175333

It's only a week
     into the game so it's not
too late to restart.

Score: 1          

Haiku #25

If we were allowed
     to eat our votes nobody
would get elected.

Score: 1          

Haiku #209313

Neat. Thanks. that's some edge
     you have there my friend, how is
6th grade going?

Score: 1          

Haiku #31

I can think of two
     useful beliefs I espouse
that contradict yours.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215532

"They put everyone
     in a big circle and then
do them one by one.

Score: 1          

Haiku #32

So, raise you hand if
     you currently trust Sony.
Yeah, that's what I thought.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19609

I've luckily been
     able to compress the graph!
[deleted] You're in.

Score: 1          

Haiku #33

It has a little
     camera, which is uncommon
but not unheard of.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19616

I said death. Some might
     argue that death is slightly
worse than injury.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19412

Also, the mineral
     patch location and ramp can
affect where they stack.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39121

Read up on hormones
     and behavior and their roles
between each other.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18927

If you like your house
     being reasonably clean
all the time, no pets.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106206

Can't handle shit when
     you have no ammo and chose
your battle poorly?

Score: 1          

Haiku #18936

I had no savings,
     a pile of credit card debt,
and no job prospects.

Score: 1          

Haiku #22871

Living with someone
     in a relationship tests
all of your patience.

Score: 1          

Haiku #203522

Am I the only
     one who thinks OP's story is
the only story?

Score: 1          

Haiku #215540

This is why you should
     have no part in deciding
the fate of mankind.

Score: 1          

Haiku #18961

Also, does butter
     count as a spice, because if
so, I would add that.

Score: 1          

Haiku #329140

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
     Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19011

Doesn't matter how
     easy the game is, you don't
play against the game.

Score: 1          

Haiku #69194

hopefully homeless
     guy made off with random black
fellas burrito.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19013

All the light blending
     around you should add a nice
little effect too!

Score: 1          

Haiku #237441

I've had too many
     bikes stolen to want to mess
with them anymore.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19017

There are no laws here
     that dictate how fast we can
run on foot, so *HA!

Score: 1          

Haiku #74852

You implied that it's
     obvious why a junkie
would stab somebody.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19020

Done and over with.
     Ok, same here. So now what
do we talk about.

Score: 1          

Haiku #215437

Fuck the government
     man they don't do shit to keep
nation safe. Looks good!

Score: 1          

Haiku #19022

Going out of town
     on the 14th so it has
to be before that.

Score: 1          

Haiku #39125

All time? I'd say John
     Elway. Currently, probably
Rodgers or Stafford.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19019

Walking ten miles sucks
     but riding a bike ten miles
isn't bad at all.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231714

Looks like other folks
     in thus thread agree just fine
though so whatever.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19023

He was harassing
     and yelling at customers
in the parking lot.

Score: 1          

Haiku #237451

The thing is, if you
     feel as if you're too squishy,
then you probably are.

Score: 1          

Haiku #124900

Just like the content
     is empty and only there
for website ratings?

Score: 1          

Haiku #193559

I have about four
     prescriptions that have my wife's
name on them, not mine.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19029

But I guess I just
     wonder why there was so much
hype to begin with.

Score: 1          

Haiku #224702

It doesn't even
     have any wheels No, no Tom
Hanks in the movie.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19033

Having some damn good
     goals in life (some travel, work
goals, etc).

Score: 1          

Haiku #333788

Don't let him do it,
     he doesn't deserve to feel
better about it.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19037

Did I mention I'm
     also poor and she has large
inheritance sums?

Score: 1          

Haiku #83102

I saw it coming.
     I saw it coming. I didn't
want it to happen.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19038

Take the internship!
     Companies care more about
that than a degree.

Score: 1          

Haiku #153751

Trying to get the blade
     father away from you will
only make things worse.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19039

I think at this point,
     the media is a beast
in charge of itself.

Score: 1          

Haiku #106250

With my earnings from
     the stock market I'd open
up my own restaurant.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19043

Why would that guy risk
     getting brutally murdered
just for a few bucks?

Score: 1          

Haiku #83092

I like this account.
     Fuck everyone who doesn't
get the sarcasm.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19048

Do you find yourself
     feeling as though you don't fit
in still to this day?

Score: 1          

Haiku #74855

The best part is when
     all the old Uncles get drunk
and tell dirty jokes.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19057

Bats do horribly
     in captivity, unless
kept in a large group.

Score: 1          

Haiku #167947

No college degree
     guarantees you a job, why
would an internship?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19058

did you ever get
     the feeling a lot of what
you witnessed was staged?

Score: 1          

Haiku #106231

I am thoroughly
     jealous of his everything.
Especially the hat.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19034

It was a box truck
     full of mannequins that looked
like bodies at first.

Score: 1          

Haiku #231696

If it didn't run like
     shit, it would be a great game
on PC as well.

Score: 1          

Haiku #19150

That's no different than
     telling her to make her boobs
bigger to please you.

Score: 1          

Haiku #263750

You do know being
     correct involves more than just
using big words right?

Score: 1          

Haiku #19102

Anybody else
     noticed that the comments are
"OVER NINE THOUSAND"?

Score: 1          

Haiku #175259

No? Have you been banned
     from posting for not toeing
our party line? No?

Score: 1          


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Page updated on Friday Aug 18, 2017 08:54:04 PM CST.

A Cyrus Lopez snafu.